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Cor Blimey Mates, Take a butcher's at these two, a right cupla toffs if yer arsks me, wat's all this abhat wood spanners? A rite lairy pair of lardy dahs frum the sahnd of it, there ain't no place on 'is sore bum fer the likes of em I reckons. It's all bubble an' squeak to me. Watcha Tosh, 'ows yer ...

Good Manners forbids a reply.

Gentleman Bob Bull.

Gracious! Mary!!!
An outbreak of good manners on this forum! what is the world coming to!
Stunned of Luton.

Dearest Jack, Why don't yer shift bottle and glass git a clean dicky dirt wiv a nice peckham rye an' put on yer whistle an' flute, hoist up yer rebel rousers, polish yer daisy roots an' hit the frog and toad? Take a ball of chalk darn ter the rub a dub dub and look art for a tea leaf floggin' hooky ...

You know I tried very hard to spell squawk, but I could not remember how. Was it pity, good manners or a failure by anybody to spot the mistake that meant I have not received a ticking off over the error?

BB

Robin, Are you bat's man? It's NOT a deerstalker, it's a gentleman's cap with ear flaps, which button under the chin to keep it in place in high winds or when driving an open top sports car. I make the distinction because I do not wish to be saddled with a reputation as a stalker, the scuffers do no...

Jack,
I know, but Mum's influence still remains to this day, and I knew she would be looking down and saying ... ROBERT!!!!

Squark.

Bob

Shocked of Imworth;

Comments noted, rebuke acknowledged, apology proffered, ways mended. Do come back, we would miss you.

Bob the Penitent.

What can I say ? I've been rumbled. It was all just a desperate cry for help, a pathetic way of seeking attention. Underneath all the bluster their is a sad and lonely man who feels so inferior because he can't afford a Morgan. Blubber, blubber [-o< . Anyway that was not a deerstalker. John Bolster ...

Mary, There was a young lady named Ada, who got took by a VIKING invader. When returned to her mother, she'd had some of the other. Said her mother 'He's made her, that invaders laid her.' But Ada just smiled 'cos he'd paid her. Clearly Athelstan Ye Bellringer failed to give adequate warning! What c...

Hi! Robin (and Jerry), You may have noticed that I have been rather pre-occupied with other matters lately, mainly trying to drum up some enthusiasm for Chris A's latest idea, and it is with regret that I failed to note your interest in my tennis racket. You are right Robin - good old fashioned poun...

Bellinger - ring's bells. What did Miss EntWHISLTE do when the invaders came?

In a vain attempt to raise awareness of the Loose Torque concept I did pledge to post two new items on the Forum this week, and as a man of my word I will try again to stimulate interest in this moribund section. Sometime ago there was discussion on the probability/possibility of the British Grand P...

Jack,
Have you noticed how some women always assume you are talking about them,as if no other female existed?
It is vanity do you suppose ?

I was, of course, referring to Gladys Entwhistle, from Billericay.

You can't win them all.

Bob

Jack,
I don't have her number, but what about that lady from Essex?

Bob.