How do I go faster

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Re: How do I go faster

Postby Bob Bull » Wed Jul 11, 2018 11:18 am

Anybody know the Croatian for 'Thrash the Nancy Boys'?
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby peter rafter » Thu Jul 19, 2018 9:15 pm

Not many of you, in fact nobody, spotted the flaw in my previous suggestion that I ‘self identify’ as the “pole sitter” in the Challenge races. {At this point Doctor Jack you can go direct to the end and avoid the allegedly soporific explanation}. My proposal was based on the “Zeno Paradox” (Zeno of Elea c. 490–430 BC) which came to me as I was warbling in the bathroom as part of the morning ablutions. As you all recall, this particular paradox highlights the concept of infinity is problematical. In a race, the quickest can never overtake the slowest, since the pursuer must first reach the point whence the pursued started, so that the slower must always hold a lead. Imagine for one fleeting moment the consequence. Ergo nobody could catch me up and I would claim the laurel wreath to the accompanying strains of Hail the Conquering Hero. Big Applause! Unfortunately those eternal killjoys i.e. Mafematicians queued up over the centuries to pee on this bonfire.
I don’t think that Zeno entered into Mr. Thompsons mindset as he set pole at Donington. With attendant coolant problems in the pretty red car I ultimately resorted to Doctor Jacks ‘ “cheeks firmly clenched “ approach and I did indeed improve , such as to better my previous times. If I could only persuade the other contestants not to do the same.
ps
Rome wasn’t built in a day. That was Sheffield!
pps
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby SimonScott » Fri Jul 20, 2018 12:02 pm

Very good to see you as well Peter. Although blaming your incontinence on the car is a bit like blaming the dog for a terrible odour methinks!!! :lol:
On the positive side, without coolants, your car must have been lighter and therefore faster. Maybe if you leave out the petrol as well...or maybe not... #-o
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby Bob Bull » Fri Jul 20, 2018 2:57 pm

SimonScott wrote:Very good to see you as well Peter. Although blaming your incontinence on the car is a bit like blaming the dog for a terrible odour methinks!!! :lol:
On the positive side, without coolants, your car must have been lighter and therefore faster. Maybe if you leave out the petrol as well...or maybe not... #-o


Simon your last suggestion is not a silly as it might sound … it would not be the first time Peter tried that ploy, as reported in the media at the time.
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby jack bellinger » Fri Jul 20, 2018 5:59 pm

Im glad that you have stared the exercise regime and that you have improved your lap time
So now you are ready for exercise 2

Once again sit on the floor with your legs out in front of you
(now the tricky bit)
Pretend your foot is in the flat out position
Now Clench 1 cheek at a time and keep your foot planted
once mastered it worth a Second a lap

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Re: How do I go faster

Postby peter rafter » Thu Aug 23, 2018 8:12 pm

I was gratified with my modest improvement at Donington thanks to following Dr. Jacks’ advice, that is before a mechanical failure curtailed my endeavours. Furthermore,I was disappointed to miss both Silverstone and Mallory. However, I am still fully resolved to make progress and have embarked on a rigorous regime in toning and strengthening the Gluteal Muscles (maximus, medium and minimus) in advance of Snetterton. Note to self “avoid such exercises in public as strange twitchings in ones trousers could be open to mis- interpretation- M’Lud).

Now to a more worthy topic. Given the parlous state of the Sheffield City Councils’ present finances, notwithstanding its parsimonious nature in anything not remotely related to an extreme left wing eclectic socialist global agenda, it is unlikely to be predisposed to award “Blue Plaques” in honouring the residences of its Alumni past and present. More notably that of pioneering driver of car BNP 280. Ergo “No Blue for Pru”. Besides which, and further to her disadvantage, is that Pru is not recorded as ever playing Cricket nor captaining England at this arcane ceremonial pantomime, (two of whom reside in Dore, Sheffield—Captains that is).
Additionally and equally sad, is that said steed BNP 280 was lost to Hallam and was spirited away to the darkest nether regions of the South of England.

Does this mean that we Worthies and Notables of the parish should pay for our own Blue Plaques.? In all modesty would mine but show “A motoring Ace, Polymath, Raconteur and All Round Good Egg?". Is this not a tad fulsome or effusive? Please refrain from Vicki Pollard responses (No, but yeah, but no, No, but, yeah, but, no, but, yeah, but, no, but, yeah because …Oh my god that is so unfair! Everybody knows ..
ps
Dore - 829 AD King Egbert of Wessex led his army to the village to receive the submission of King Eanred of Northumbria, thereby establishing his overlordship over the whole of Anglo-Saxon Britain:
Not a lot has happened since then .
pps
In watching a recording of the Monaco Historique I was delighted to hear the anecdotal report of Lord Hesketh welcoming Journos to a champagne reception with “ come aboard to the only team at Monaco with one race car and two yachts!!”
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby Leigh Sebba » Mon Aug 27, 2018 9:45 pm

Correction - I think you mean BNP 370 re registered for the following year LM entry as FXD 280.
Yes perhaps Prudence should have a blue plaque in Sheffield and you could discuss it with her son - Chair of Bugatti Soc. But as I understand it Sheffield has various plaques but no official blue ones - not even for Joe Cocker ( or Jarvis Cocker).
I see Helen Sharman (space woman ) comes from Sheffield - perhaps she could advise you on how to go faster ?
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby Bob Bull » Tue Aug 28, 2018 8:42 am

Based on voting patterns for Sheffield, I think a Blue Plaque would be distinctly out of place. Why, Peter even drives a red car. No doubt Sheffield's heroine was a trendy lefty.
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby peter rafter » Wed Sep 12, 2018 6:28 pm

With Snetteron in mind and notwithstanding Dr. Jacks’ valuable advice, sadly compromised by mechanical failure of the pretty red car at Donington, a haunting voice from the Isle of Capri on the Baird contraption suggests that I should speak with he who makes the thing that drills the hole
that holds the spring that drives the rod that turns the knob
that makes the thing that holds the oil
that oils the ring that takes the shank that moves the crank
that makes the engines roar and
that works the thing-ummy-bob.
that's going to win the race (one day).
At which point exactly should I burn incense, dance uncontrollably while chanting supplications to the Gods?
ps
I care not for fame or fortune but it can be somewhat galling to see all the prizes and honours go to those with talent and ability.
sob!
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby Bob Bull » Fri Sep 14, 2018 3:59 pm

I noticed that BBC had a programme on yesterday entitled The Mighty Redcar, any thing to do with you, Peter?
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