Endangered species.

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peter rafter
Posts: 724
Joined: Fri Nov 17, 2006 8:37 pm

Endangered species.

Post by peter rafter »

Before reading this, if you are of a faint disposition, or feeling fragile, then you should have to hand the smelling salts. Better still a single malt or a fine hors d’age cognac.

Forget those pleas in the media to pay for all kind of animals in far-off lands. Cue irritating music and voiceover. This is much more important This is a category one endangered species and a real cause for great concern.The much admired AR Motorsport Morgan Challenge. We have to save it right now while we still have the chance. Its very survival may be at risk Please help this inspiring series by joining. Such is the parlous state of affairs that there is no cuddly toy on offer.

Not one to refrain from pomposity, pontification, perspicacity, prescience, presumption, post cognitive dissonance and all the other p”s, I have penned a few thoughts and observations as an encouragement and an inducement for potential new entrants and even lapsed members.

RACING i.e. moving swiftly competitively.
The so called “noble” sport of Kings, Horse Racing, is the most popular after the insane pursuit of a pigs bladder. Every year, in the Spring, practically all of Ireland decamps to the Midlands bringing with them their inclement weather.

In ancient times, racing dates back to 700 BC, Chariot racing was extremely dangerous and beloved by spectators, including Herodotus, not just the Ben Hur version.

Nowadays, horse racing is mainly a ton or more of pampered thoroughbred muscle galloping round an oval, guided by a bulimic diminutive Irishman applying a whip, (whips are apparently okay for animals but not for recalcitrant spouses, children, or scoundrels). It is all over in minutes, necessitating several visits to the bar.

In general, horses have a short race career after which they are retired and some put out to stud. How long will it be before MSUK adopts this practice in its regulations, i.e. where the car is retired and the driver put out to stud?

Gelding of horses often leads to a successful track career. It is not yet prevalent in Motor racing although in certain quarters it has been proposed for many drivers.

There is a strong affinity between racegoers and common terms e.g. good looking fillies, or fine fetlocks, etc.

MOTOR RAXING
The Morgan series dates back to the umpteenth Cretaceous period, officially recorded as 1966. In that momentous year there was also some inconsequential event taking place involving, yes, a pigs bladder and some real Argy bargy. Elsewhere, an Ozzie intruder was on his way to a third world championship, winning 4 out of 9 rounds. Memories.

The MORGAN CHALLENGE

An annual celebration of exuberance.
What do you need? What do you need besides pots of dosh?
Budgets vary. Most are underestimated and all disappear into a black hole otherwise known as recognised Race preparers and Agents, albeit willingly.

In olden days, at least pre 1992, one simply bunged a bundle of notes, twenty quid or so, to the RAC Motorsports Association and you had a racing Licence. Tdaaar! How daft is that? Afterwards, ARDS was introduced. It didn’t mean standards necessarily improved, just that you had to pass a test. In any event, an annual medical can only be beneficial and help support our impoverished Medicos.

Equipment, Race wear, Helmets, trailers, extras etc can add up and indeed mushroom exponentially (here a little obfuscation can save tedious explanations re housekeeping allowances). You know it makes sense.
Caveat emptor. Many items have date expiry conditions attached, so before you pour your ill gotten gains into the grandchildren Trusts, allow for inflation busting replacement costs.

THE CIRCUITS
Superb UK and Continental circuits. The very same that those associated series (F1, WEC, BTCC etc) flood the satellite channels. In your dotage and in your minds eye you could recount and regale the grandchildren with your experience and exploits of how you weaved your way masterfully through the field, Contingent of course on that they spare you the time from their phones and game boxes. No chance.

One downside is that the full GP Silverstone and Brands Hatch circuits are seldom in play.

Circuit Guides can be disingenuous, although some find them helpful. However, you may be better off consulting Leviticus or that part of the New Testament not written by St Paul.

Hotel, motorhome, caravan, camp. If the latter be sure you are located next to the folks with the loudest generator and feral children.

There are no definitive racing lines (despite the circuit guide and multifarious racing texts) . This becomes apparent as at every opportunity and at every part of the circuit however inappropriate.all and sundry swarm by you from every side like an avenging horde.

RACECRAFT

Forget mirror, signal, manœuvre.

The Himalayan jumping spider has 8 eyes and 360 degree vision, accoutrements more than helpful in motor racing. However, modern Hans devices restrict this, and mirrors lie repeatedly (he wasn’t there when i turned in, believe me Mr. Senior Steward)

The Start.

Most races are from a standing start, governed by the lights. if you are colour blind is it when they go dark?
Rolling starts are considered the safest as it generally avoids grid collisions. and stationary vehicles.
Le Mans starts would inevitably be ruled unfair. The younger more agile competitors will have completed several laps before the geriatric oldies and wrinklies, having first asthmatically negotiated the breadth of the circuit, clamber arthritically into their cars and fumble through the safety harness tightening procedure whilst punching their steed into life.((although it is oft repeated that for some this is there only chance to get their leg over).

Be aware that there are clear neurological changes that occur when facing the start lights (increased front lobe activity which can lead to unfortunate consequences)

At the start you should balance excitement with calm (Neil Armstrong). There is no “we have ignition, controlled countdown, lift off”. You should not have the latent power of a Saturn V, just an adrenaline whoooooosh. Or a no whoosh if you have stalled, or even a kangaroo hopping whoosh as you have selected the wrong gear.

No need for herd immunity, get out front as quick as you can.

Earlier advice from some cognoscenti included ‘just follow Mary, Potter, or Jack’” —fine except when they disappear into the distance and you are left in splendid isolation.

Race Organisers/Stewards/Marshalls/Scruitineers/Katy
Respect
Without whom.

SIGNALS & FLAGS
if you see a Hermes neckerchief or headscarf waving at you from the pits it is probably spouse/girlfriend and you ignore it at you peril. Other flags might need attention and you should consult the Blue Book.

SOME WORTHWHILE TIPS (perm any 3 from 4)

Before you attempt to heel and toe, check that you have both.

Life is not fair

if you are disappointed in your efforts read “how do i go faster on this forum”
The class structure is deliberately baffling to all and sundry.

i laugh in the face of danger says one who recoils in fright at the first sight of an arachnid.

Filming. Modern cameras are light years ahead of older formats (witness in the Cinema of the not too distant past filtered day for night and studio sequences against obvious backdrop films)

it will inevitably rain, hail or even snow as you sit strapped in in the assembly area.

Do not interfere with the race preparers. They know which end of the spanner and which size hammer to use.

Age of driver and of car matters. There is a 70 year span in the age of cars and some 50 years in the age of drivers in the series. Beware of the young guns. Their vision its sharper, their reflexes are quicker and often they are just blooming faster. Do not lose heart as a lesser powered car glides by. He or she might be a better driver or have faster exit speed. Or you are not paying attention.

Do not repeatedly ask yourself what am i doing here. Avoid incredulous utterances such as I’m only here fro enjoy myself and not for the racing

All manner of profanities and swearing in your balaclava and helmet is allowed.

Mechanical things go wrong repeatedly Wheels, bits and components fall off the cars are hand built and there is no magnetic under tray). Morgans are not noted for technological advances. It can take ages to fathom their limitations.

There are no definitive racing lines (despite the circuit guide and multifarious racing texts). This becomes apparent as at every opportunity and at every part of the circuit however inappropiate they swarm by you from every side like an avenging horde.

The smell of fried onions will deter ticks and insects from infesting your race wear.

Tighten you helmet, it protects your identity .

Always question why you are doing this . It is s reassuring. Mind that bollard.

in-between qualy and races there will be visitors to marvel at your car, or even discuss your exploits (if not you could try bribing your family). At such times look intenseiy at the engine, engage other drivers asif you know what you are talking about.

Former drivers often reminisce.

Colours matter. Darker cars go faster. BRG is a dull tint and a legacy of post war surplus camouflage paint. The pretty red car lags the field in the squiggly parts .

Let all children sit in the car for foto opportunities, then start the engine. It frightens the life out of them and they rush to mamma.

Many drivers compete in associated series, VSCC, HSCC Historic races Europe wide

In between races sport the most outrageous attire that you have found on the bedroom floor. Strut through the paddock as if you own it and have just devastated the entire field

Should you win a prize, even if you are the only entrant in the class, acknowledge the happy clappers at Katys' presentation

Old adage: ;If you do not find the smell of Castro R sexy, you might be a pervert.

There is a uniform code of signals for oil, leaving the circuit, which side to pass safely, through to Foxtrot Oscar.

Fear not. What can possibly go wrong —will

Do not compare your car with others , even those in the same class.

Treat Qualy times with indifference. You will go faster in the race (The Lees principle)

As you wend your way home in the glow of the setting sun as it sheds a ribbon of colour across the landscape, rejoice in your exploits and promise to do better next time.

ps

Please correct inaccuracy or discrepancies. The blasted predictive script is ever interfering and is the bane of creative thought. How to disenable it?
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peter
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jack bellinger
Tech Comm
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Re: Endangered species.

Post by jack bellinger »

all i know is
"WHEN THE FLAG DROPS THE BULLSHIT STOPS "

quote from Barry S.
(not to be forgotten)
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TonyLees
Morgan Class B
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Re: Endangered species.

Post by TonyLees »

I am honoured (in principle).
But why are we endangered?
2021 looms nicely :)
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Bob Bull
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Re: Endangered species.

Post by Bob Bull »

Maybe a new Career beckons for some?

https://www.jibjab.com/view/make/monste ... ce=cordial
Ace Photograp…… you know!
Regards
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Bob Bull
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Re: Endangered species.

Post by Bob Bull »

New opportunities, new roles to fill, Peter!

Even for you. :shock:

https://www.jibjab.com/view/make/i_will ... ce=cordial
Ace Photograp…… you know!
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gregparnell
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Re: Endangered species.

Post by gregparnell »

Excellent 😂
Leigh Sebba
Morgan Class C
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Re: Endangered species.

Post by Leigh Sebba »

Great dancing from all
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Bob Bull
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Re: Endangered species.

Post by Bob Bull »

Ace Photograp…… you know!
Regards
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