A New Year - A New Beginning.

[Bob Bull]

In an (probably vain) effort to stimulate the creative talents of all readers of 'Loose Torque' and thus ensure a lively start to 2011 for afficionados of this site, I as always feel the need to lead from the front (well I can't see Mary or Jack doing so).

I suggest that everyone take a look at the 'unwanted gifts' that Santa brought to their hearth, and we start a Swap Shop' to see if we cannot re-distribute items that will otherwise gather dust or clutter up valuable cupboard space, or even impinge on precious garage areas. Naturally this will need a great degree of diplomacy to avoid matrimonial strife or tear stained mothers, broken hearted children etc. etc. I am certain that Catherine will be only to glad to let the copy of 'The Measurement of Torque Stresses in Ferrous Metal Chassis.' that John bought her for Christmas, go to a good home in exchange for some warm socks, or a set of metric ring spanners!
Undoubtedly Mark Shears will find little use for the fine set of stainless steel saucepans he received as a yuletide gift from his loved ones, and much prefer some fire proof undies instead. Perhaps he and Katy Thompson should liaise?
There can be little doubt that Jack B is somewhat less than delighted with the copy of Nigella Lawsons latest offering Sally felt he needed, so should be ripe for a swap with any men's toiletries that you have going spare.
Robin Singleton may be persuaded to relenquish his 'Halfords Car Shine Kit' for a basket case + 4, or even a rusty bicyle frame, while Leigh Sebba will probably still be seeking a decent tennis racket and be willing to unload two flannel shirts and a gaudy sweater in exchange.

That box set of the 'Royle Family' TV series that Jerry Knight was forced to enthuse over on the 25th, might well change hands for a couple of rear bumper mounts for an MGB, and Andrew Faulds may be seeking a copy of 'My Greatest Races' by Jenson Button, and can possibly offer a decent garden spade and trowel as recompense.

No doubt many of you will have similar needs and wants and a little judicious haggling will bring rewards, if conducted with a degree of circumspection.

Naturally in keeping with my philosophy of being nice to people I will not be asking for any commission on deals that may be struck between consenting adults.

Oh! Ladies if you have any stockings surplus to requirements - may I suggest you look at an earlier post of mine, as you may find an outlet for them.

Please use discretion as we do not want to embarrass Andr.......! Sorry.

[Jim Mountain]

happy new year Bob,

to get you started I have a tin of unwanted Cadburys Roses that I'll swap for a class A +8 [-o<

[Robin Singleton]

Bob

I already have an rusty bicycle frame but happy to take an unwanted Christmas pudding in part exchange.

Robin

PS I thought only Santa knew about my car polish kit!

[Bob Bull]

It is good to see that this topic is being taken seriously for a change, and that we now have the basis for a really valuable resource on BHP. Gift Swap! I see no reason why, if sucessful, the concept could be extended into other areas of life not catered for in the For Sale section!!!

I have a tin of unwanted Cadburys Roses that I'll swap for a class A +8

Jim, as always I am amazed by your perspicacity, you have instantly grasped the essentials of the Swap Shop concept, I congratulate you Sir!

I wish I could take advantage of your very generous offer, however, there are just two minor problems!

a) Due in no small part to a large tin of Quality Street, I am less small and much larger than pre Yuletide Bob, thus must forego the pleasure of a tin of Rose's Chocs. for the delights of Ryvita and unsweetened porridge.

b) I do not own any Morgans, vintage, classic, historic, modern even, three wheels, four wheels, no wheels! How about a DVD of a Rock 'n Roll concert from 1973?

I already have an rusty bicycle frame but happy to take an unwanted Christmas pudding in part exchange.

Robin! You too I salute for the swiftness of your reply, and the elemental grip you have on swapping, sadly all the Plum Puddings were consumed over the festive season, adding to the previously mentioned waistline growth, I shall look through the unconsumed comestibles to see if there is anything left.

Wife informs me porridge is ready. Must dash.

Bob

[Mark Shears]

Happy New Year to you too Bob! Trust you had a merry Christmas - it certainly sounds it after hearing of your excesses!

I am making the s/s pots and pans into a stainless bulkhead as I write this! How did you know I would have preferred new nomex underwear as Mrs S does not appear to have got all the stains out after the last meeting!

Will we see you at The Leathern Bottle at Lewknor on Saturday? it is an ideal destination for a gentle cycle ride to work off all that Christmas excess weight!

Cheers

Mark

[jack bellinger]

Who brought up Christmas Puddings !! I am not getting into wife swapping again !! (its cheaper to buy another one)

F Atbum

[Bob Bull]

Dear Mark,
Thank you for your greeting, I am pleased to see that you are making full use of your P & P's, and I am sorry if my revelations on this site has caused any embarrassment or marital strife in Pillerton Priory. I much doubt that I will be joining the beer swilling hordes in Lewknor, being at heart a very unsociable type. Mind you if John Clarke is willing to pick me up and pay my share of the bill I could be persuaded to break the habit of a lifetime.

However, it is more likely that we will next meet at some ex bomber airfield when the sun may be shining. Until then ......!!

While I am on site, so to speak, I can reveal that a number of other folk are pretty keen to dispose of unsuitable articles of clothing and such, but most are reluctant to put their head over the parapet and risk spousal oprobrium so I am sworn to anonimity, but can reveal that;

John in Essex has a brand new wax jacket available to swap for some rugged ear defenders, Peter from Sheffield is anxious to be rid of a fur trimmed purple velvet dressing gown, and desperately requires a large Thesaurus and a volume of 9th century Icelandic verse. Can any one help?

The O-G's luckily know each other so well that as long as Simon gets a new Morgan each year and Kate has a bag of flour and a new rolling pin to play with harmony reigns in the household.

Andy G has three pairs of gent's slipper he would love to exchange for decent foot pump and is willing to throw in several monogrammed hankies to sweeten the deal, while Andy D desperately needs a few 'dry cleaning vouchers' but what he has to tempt a swap is unknown.

Finally, at this time I believe that Phillip Tisdall requires anything that will placate a wife inadvertantly described as 'wide', on a public forum.
Come on chaps take pity on the blighter.

Finally again;

A well known Morgan racer went out one Friday night with some mates for a drink, and did not return home until late on Monday. His long suffering wife instantly gave him a dire attack of the verbals winding up with; 'How would you like it if you didn't see me for three days?' He replied; ' I would like that just fine!'
So he did not see her on Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday, but ........




on Friday the swelling went down and he see a little bit out of one eye!!


Ho! HO1 Ho!

[Catherine Emberson]

A Happy New Year to all! Unfortunately I didn't receive any erudite books on motor mechanics but have no unwanted gifts this year. John was inspired in finding things I really wanted.

John on the other hand hasn't quite got the hang of the Parabolic Rollers he was given so may want to swap them in before he suffers major injury. He has mentioned Barami Alloy Wheels in the past so I think he would be happy to exchange. Bob, do you have any potential swapees in your data base?

The winter cycling is not going well : too many punctures, too much cold and wet. He was overtaken on his bike by one of the racing fraternity in his Roadster near Whipsnade the other day but wasn't recognised no doubt due to the layers of lurid lycra. Now wishing the new season could start.

Catherine.

[Bob Bull]

Catherine,
I am sure we are all delighted to know that John has seen the light and missed out the learned tome this time around, and found just the things you wanted. No doubt you used your womanly wiles to implant the correct choices in his mind subliminally? (Oy! I want a Dior evening gown.)

Tell him that mending punctures beside a cold, wet, lonely country lane is all part of the fun of cycling, especially with freezing cold fingers!

Sadly apart from the aforementioned DVD I did not get much in the way of surplus goodies this year, due in no small part to not getting much atall. Several fine teas made up the bulk of the gifts as well as some warm socks, and a DVD of the 1955 Le Mans accident. No metric ring spanners I'm afraid.

Should you be attending the Plus 4 Lunchers, jamboree at Lewknor on Saturday, you may find that it develops into a frantic 'Swap Shop' of redundant and unloved presents, as this would be an ideal opportunity for such a venture. After all, the culprits could always explain; "I was a little bit worse for wear, Dear, and must have picked up the wrong bag at the end."
The question is; Will John be furtively endeavouring to unload any of those carefully chosen items YOU bought for him?

Seeing that the likes of Mark, Richard, Leigh, etc. are organising a munch-up, I wonder, do the 'ladies' of the Morgan world have their own nosh up?
A guest speaker perhaps .....??????

Oh! Catherine, what would you give for an A4 colour picture of JE in the SLR at Silverstone?

Much love,

Bob.

[Chris Acklam]

He has mentioned Barami Alloy Wheels in the past so I think he would be happy to exchange.

Ah, the famous Barmiarmi wheels - especially effective in the Antipodes running rings around our beleaguered friends in the colonies . Not to be confused with the more flashy Borrani wheels A perfect stocking filler (I love it when prices just say POA... )

[Bob Bull]

Chris,
I was much to polite to point out Catherine's error, shame on you sir!

Gentleman Bob Bull.

[Mark Shears]

I thought Bob they were a new cheaper version made in India! After all Dunlop sold the tools and exquipment to continue making their wire wheels to India - so why not ...?!

Cheers

Mark

[Catherine Emberson]

No wonder I could never find any!!!! Good thing too if they are only POA. John occasionally likes to shred his wheels so he can continue to dream....

Catherine

[jack bellinger]

Catherine .. POA is all a Man plot ..we ask these companies to do this so that the Girlies dont know much We spend on our Game Playing.. I learnt this trick from Sally After I found out how much Her Hairdresser charges !!
I have always had an agreement with Sally ..What ever I spend on Racing .Sally can also spend on the house.
Luckily I can do my own repairs ..

( I bet one days the wheels will just turn up or they are already on the car)

Helpful jack

[Catherine Emberson]

Many thanks Jack for the spending tip. Now, what does John spend on his racing...........? New carpets? New kitchen even?

Catherine.