How do I go faster

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Re: How do I go faster

Postby Bob Bull » Thu Jun 07, 2018 10:14 am

Dear Compo,
I note that you are still pursuing this insatiable lust for fame and fortune in the Aero Challenge Championship, and must comment that this naked desire for glory ill becomes a man of your advanced years. In the interest of your immortal soul I beseech you to abandon this path, and stick to what you do best - Ferret racing. Along with Pigeon fancying, clog dancing and cobble hurling such activities are considerably better suited to your undoubted talents, and offer a more certain prospect of success.

Alternatively an eight foot pole mounted on the front of the 'Pretty Red Car' on which the transponder could be fitted, might overcome the problems of altitude on radio transmissions, giving a clear advantage over the less astute competitors whose signals would be missed due to the towering mountains of Spa. Thus, old friend, you may well be the one and only finisher, and winner.


I should point out that Poles are seldom eight foot tall which, may scupper my second idea.

Kind regards, ee oop!

Foggy
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby Bob Bull » Tue Jun 12, 2018 10:30 am

Peter; 3174 views, 105 replies, 8 'pages' of web space, yet no solution to your problem is forthcoming. Maybe it is time to seek answers elsewhere in the motor sport community.

Lewis, Seb, Max, etc. might be worth asking.

At least Lewis would be able to help with some good excuses.
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby TonyLees » Tue Jun 12, 2018 7:53 pm

peter rafter wrote:a+b=c

a+b never = c, at least, not in my book
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby gregparnell » Wed Jun 13, 2018 4:17 pm

Try fixing a large magnet to the floor behind the accelerator pedal and re sole your right racing shoe with Sheffield steel.
Simples!
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby peter rafter » Wed Jun 13, 2018 8:32 pm

Firstly, Greg, That sounds like an attractive idea!
Secondly, Bob, thank you for your observations. However, I fear that the cosseted F! drivers of today are so far removed from the realities of real racing that they would struggle to be constructive on my dilemma As they only seem able to drive under endless instructions from a myriad backup team of engineers, technicians, and software specialists, and with overtaking a lost art, how do you think they could cope with a pretty red car with the driver noting cloud formations, or a blur of custard yellow pirouetting and spearing across turn 1, or construction debris at the side of the circuit, or the greasy spoon running out of chips, or the endless drone of generators throbbing deep into the early hours, or of borrowing ill fitting race wear, or unbending administrators. or grumpy nitpicking scruitineers, or pompous circuit officials, or visitors setting off the fire extinguishers, or exorbitant race fees and charges by the circuits, ….. is the list endless?all without scantily clad trophy girls, photo shoots or interviews . (unless of course an ageing paparazzi, and erstwhile reporter for the wireless could thrust a microphone at them.).
Thirdly , Bob you seem to have fallen into the trap of stereotyping Yorkshire (flat caps and your assumed arcane hobbies are long gone). Prior Alumni count, inter alia, Cardinal John Fisher, Percy cate eyes Shaw,The inventor of the mousetrap, Wilberforce, Bronte Dench, Frankie Howard, Joe Cocker, Boycott , Keegan, Trueman, Henry Moore but also Guy Fawkes, Jimmy Saville and Suttcliffe..
Fourthly Tony, perhaps that explains my computer and software glitches
ps
has anyone seen my key to the lab?
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby Andrew Potter » Thu Jun 14, 2018 9:21 pm

Evening, Tyke.
The answer to your ambition lies in the saying, 'The older I get, the faster I was'. There is some truth in that, for in 2010 at Snetterton you finished 17th out of 31, a position not achieved since. However, it was not in your present car. The answer to your problem is to revert to using a 'Roadster Lightweight'. Red doesn't suit your colouring, obviously- revert to Morgan works colours of Blue and Silver.
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby peter rafter » Thu Jul 05, 2018 7:35 pm

“Self Identification!” In parts of Sheffield they talk of little else, M’Lud!
I was listening to the wireless when some Liberal Intellectual Activist pontificated earnestly on the complexities and necessities of Gender Self identification, even beseeching legislation. Piffle. Cue extreme blood pressure. Its not as if our hapless Members of Parliament have nothing else to concern themselves with at the present. There is repeal of the Representation of the People Act 1918, for starters.
Self identification. It could make for interesting pillow talk ‘You show me yours first!’ And then theres the new term ‘Snowflakes’. The shrinking violets of todays yoof. However, not all is lost. Should I “Self Identify” as the Aero Morgan Challenge “Pole Position Sitter” in all future races? There would be unconditional support from the NUS and all left wing pinkos! Howzat? The discerning reader may point out that this will not make me go faster. Nevertheless, it could well be a much needed boost to my self esteem, sadly in need of repair following a less than impressive performance at Spa.
I must write to Katy and the committee on the ground breaking self identified pole sitter.
ps
In Quantum Physics “Time” is neither directional nor linear (think past, present future). In Loop Quantum Gravity there is no time variable at the fundamental level. Wow.
pps
On my journey to the “why pay less” supermarket, I must needs take my chance in the many pedestrian under-passes in Sheffield provided by the Local Council to speed up the flow of horseless carriages. One is persistently accosted by those misfortunate seeking Alms. Regrettably, many are young. Some have pets hidden among the detritus. It behoves us not to judge those less fortunate or to what extent it is self inflicted.
In response to the oft mumbled plea for ‘spare change Guv’, my practice of late has been to proffer a freshly purchased warm Greggs sausage roll. Lately one dissatisfied scallywag riposted with the query could i proffer a “methadone” sausage roll instead! Note to self. Speak to Roger Whiteside.
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby jack bellinger » Thu Jul 05, 2018 9:28 pm

Peter

having read most of your post,s ( not all, having fallen to sleep)
My advice is to start training at Multi Tasking
First laesson..........
sit in a low chair (about 3.inches from the ground)
pretend your right foot is planted on full throttle.............(are you still with me )
now ... when you are convinced you are at full throttle (when you are just nod)

Now squeeze your backside cheeks as hard as you can (If your right foot moves ) thats the problem


Practice this and let us know how you get on before Donnington


Doctor jack
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby Bob Bull » Sat Jul 07, 2018 8:39 am

Peter, the answer to your question might, possibly be found in the distant past rather than in quantum fisicks etc.

Back in the years of the Roman Empire, let us say about 68AD, recruits to the legions trained with heavy wooden swords, and spears, these being considerably heavier than the gladius and pila they would use in battle. The idea being that having become used to the weight of the training weapons they would find the actual ones so much easier to wield.
Now my idea is that you should purchase a very powerful car, something with an excess of BHP and with a crude chassis lacking grip, and cornering like an enraged hippo. After racing this contraption for a season or two around the continent, you should find driving the pretty red car a doddle and almost certainly able to make the full use of it's inherent speed and handling properties. Should you care to take my advice I confidently predict that you would soon be overloaded with silverware …. well you should have a very fine collection of the blue boxes so beloved by Morgan drivers. You could as a nod to history add an effigy of an eagle to the car's bonnet.


Victor Ludorum. aka Bauble.
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby Mary Lindsay » Sat Jul 07, 2018 9:28 am

you should purchase a very powerful car, something with an excess of BHP and with a crude chassis lacking grip, and cornering like an enraged hippo.

That does sound like a Morgan to me....
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby Bob Bull » Sat Jul 07, 2018 3:19 pm

Mary, such thoughts could get you drummed out of the Brownies, I had something like the Napier Bentley in mind, or maybe a J2X Allard Cadillac. Either would certainly give Compo a true test of stamina and nerve.
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby Mary Lindsay » Sat Jul 07, 2018 3:52 pm

Napier Bentley - now there's a PROPER car!!! :O: :OO: :OO: :OO:
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby peter rafter » Tue Jul 10, 2018 10:10 pm

Doctor jack,
I wil come to Donington with cheeks firmly clenched
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby Leigh Sebba » Wed Jul 11, 2018 10:05 am

Peter – I see odd comments about Sheffield in your postings but just realized that about half of a certain soccer team currently in the news (not Ipswich FC) claim to hail from the steel city. Will you be inviting your neighbours along to BDC in August and perhaps we could have some more ‘celebrity’ Morgan racers ?
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby peter rafter » Wed Jul 11, 2018 11:15 am

Some worthies in the Popular Front for the Liberation of Sheffield are demanding a parade (Victory or otherwise to be determined).
A close neighbour here in Dore with penalty shoot out history will be commentating on the match on the wireless, albeit in a strong Geordie accent.
ps
October. A discouraging month. The end of the cricket season and Racing for us mere mortals. Its only then that you find out that your wife left you in April
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