How do I go faster

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Re: How do I go faster

Postby Andrew Potter » Sun Dec 24, 2017 12:09 pm

Happens a lot in this household, Bob.
Now, in order to help Mr. Rafter in his quest, I offer this:- The Robin, our winter garden icon has some red on it, but, apparently, its ability to cross continents is based on quantum mechanics. They use quantum entanglement. Quantum mechanics is the science of sub-atomic particles so small, (10 billionths of a metre), that the birds use it to detect the earth's magnetic field, through the entanglement in their eyes. All is revealed in today's Times.
So, Peter, perhaps it would be in your interest to visit Specsavers for this vital addition to your track activities, or perhaps find a pre-loved V 12 to put under your bonnet.
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby peter rafter » Sun Dec 24, 2017 5:23 pm

i wonder if the root of to potter about lies below.
I made these notes from some scraps of parchment secreted under the floorboards in the privy.
HIERONYMUS ERASMUS POTTER was a !7th Century Alchemist and Astrologer, a Knight of the Shire. He was full of zeal for the advancement of learning.
He was born out of wedlock in anno domini 1600 to the second cousin thrice removed of a one time Groom of the Stool to Henry VIII and a granddaughter of a Lady of the Bedchamber from Flanders attendant on Anne of Cleeves. instead of plain habit he wore a doublet and hose as a mark of his noble lineage and rank. He was educated at the Grammar School in Worcester which held a Royal Warrant from Elizabeth the First and which was renowned for the education of gentleman. He studied little but had both Latin and Greek. He lodged with a maiden Aunt in the Shambles and with a keen eye for perspective produced many notable sketches of the Edgar Tower and the great Cathedrals of the true three county Cities Worcester, Hereford and Gloucester. His family had but slender means and without patronage he forewent the passage to Oxon. However, in later life his privately published and much maligned Treatise on “What Thynges All showld knowe, Yet do not” provoked much discourse at the Royal Society and also in the ale houses where he was wont to frequent for small beer.
He was amongst the first rank of Alchemy, a veritable Nonesuch. He busied himself with agues and the four humours (blood, yellow bile, black bile and phlegm). He practised Physick and Astrologie in the Strand and, after the Great Plague, had many worthy patrons as a purveyor of remedies and analgesics with herbs as opposed as was the custom at that time to boiling a toad in the potage, the ubiquitous letting of the pus and blood , or drafts of opium. His lifelong but fruitless search for the “panacea of all ills” to provide him with the immortality he so desired marked his devotion to the common man amid the pestilences, syphilis and smallpox that abounded and afflicted the impoverished.
That great chronicler of the age, John Aubrey, amongst witty and effusive valedictions and revelations on Hobbes , Dr. Harvey, Desiderius Erasmus and many other worthies and notables of some importance, mentions him not at all. Nor the Diarist Pepys. Samuel Johnson could have praised his memory but did not.
He was a true loyalist but on a trifle he incurred The Kings displeasure and was committed to The Tower where he fell grievously ill and twas said close to death (he claimed in a later demence to have met therein Sir Walter Raleigh). His internment was commuted on the interjection of the Lords a Plenty, but, banished from the Court, he was exiled to the wastelands of Somerset or Wiltshire, I forget which. There he met a dowager widow of Bristow with whom he begat several offspring for whom he made full provision. That part of England was full of knaves and footpads, and there were still frequent hostile raids and incursions from the wild ruffians from the Principality of Wales.
Not blessed with prodigious wit he nevertheless was praised for his playing of the virginals. In later life he bespoke himself to the study of Mathematicks and Euclidian Geometrie. The adoption of arabic numerals unlocked Mathematicks from the bonds of classical Greek and Latin and henceforth made studie a great desire. Similarly the introduction of printed books and pamphlets liberated many folk, wheretofore the Bible had held sway over mens minds. He was wont much to lament that he arrived so late to the subjects.
He travelled not far..
At this juncture there be references amongst the stains to trimming both the the writers quill and candle.. so we will continue anon.
ps
it could be that fragments of parchment missing from the privy may have been used for other purposes. An eccentric Professor at Cambridge once responded to a philosophy student “ I have your essay before me.. Shortly it will be behind me!”
pps
I suspect that this may be lost passages from a pupil of John Aubrey.
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby Greg Mackie » Sun Dec 24, 2017 8:24 pm

Doublet...haven't worn one for many a year! Have to make do with 2 singlets these days.
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby Bob Bull » Sun Dec 24, 2017 9:09 pm

Peter do tell us more of Anne's Cleavage, it sounds more interesting than the rest of your treatise.
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby Andrew Potter » Wed Dec 27, 2017 11:10 am

Well! Poo, and thrice poo. Well done for your sniffing around my ancestry, Peter. Ein Masterwerk die Sheffield.
I hope you have had a well entertained and fed Christmas, and that you are now rested enough from your labours to take up your quill and parchment once more.
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby peter rafter » Sun Dec 31, 2017 5:54 pm

If it pleases, may we indulge with more of the historie of the Potter Dynastie. I cannot attest to the verisimilitude of the extracts as there be multifarious stains, worm infestations, niblets of tallow, tears and creases in the parchment together with illegibilities, overwritings , faded ink etc. With not a little trepidation I removed what I presumed to be coprolite but to my relief it turned out to be fragments of a great wax seal (could this be a privy seal?). Caveat, beware fake fiction.

What times we speak of! The Age of Reason. The Great Plague. The Great Fire of London. The Civil Wars. The Restoration. The overwhelming power of the Church. The tyranny of the State. The existing body of knowledge of Science and medicine was so little.

Now where were we last? Ah yes, deep in darkest wastelands of Somerset/Wiltshire/Dorset. One H.F.S.Potter, a sickly childe, had many failings. A thankless youth. He was a poor scholar and as a grown fellowe, a wastrel, idle and debauched, extravagant and wont to drunkenness and wenching. He did well to avoid the scaffold. Twas sayd he got a terrible clappe from a comely wench in Cirencester. Twas a pity for he possessed an acute mechanical bent. When sober, which was not often, his passion was wheeled carriages. Disdainful of sedan chairs he spent much time in the stable yard “pottering about” with wheels and axles and diverse shapes of wooden spokes and shafts. His obssessional quest was how to make a wheeled carriage go faster!(sic) He though himself a stirling fellowe. He had a wager that he could halve the time of the Stage and Mail coaches betwixt Bath and Exeter. He had adapted to his owne design a cross between a gig and a post chaise but it proved unstable, noisome and a terrible hard ride, jarring to the spine. His idea, a great novelty, was for an “independent suspension “ of the body from the axle. He applied this to the rear only which may have been a mistake for hadde he applied it to both axles that would have been four wheel drive, no? Then what? To grease or not to grease? Whether tis nobler to take cooking oil to the sea of rust and dessicated leaves, judicious lubrication. Instead he had the notion of inserting splines of Ash bound with thong of softened Spanish leather. Alas, no accounts survive of his adaption. I fear the main problem may have lain not with the carriage itself but the rutted tracks and also the Nags. In an age of incontestable belief in a flat earth, one solution should have been flatter roads and byways. As to the nags, those of that region, a cross Shire/Percheron/Cob were bred as draft animals to haul grain, timber and cloth. Not for galloping apace, however many one harnessed. He had done better to consult the Lady Shears of Warwickshire who had a fine line of warmblood mares. Thereby hangs a tale.

Next we read of Dignitaries and Eminent Personages and extracts therof.

The Lady Isobella Potter was not noted for her great beauty. Holbein failed miserably to hide her blemishes (Hogarth would have etched a more a true likeness). Alas she had inherited her Fathers´ looks,his rancid breath, his great girth and unruly gait. But not his wooden leg, a legacy of action as a midshipman in the Navyye, where a skilled ships surgeon and physician removed the appendage with great swiftness but much pain. However, the Lady Isobella had a pleasing disposition, fine childe bearing hips and moreover, she had Ten thousand a year and estates in the Lowe Countries and plantations in Virginia, the New Worlde. As such she had many suitors including a Viscount, The Lord Helpus, local Gentry, Impoverished Parsons and an Italian Nobleman The Count Furioso Torro an emissary from Rome (more of him anon).

Her cousin The lady Mary Potter was in contrast a most exquisite beauty and finely shaped. She was the subject of many elegies.

Sadly readers, for the present I must take your leave, but should you allow I will continue anon, for there be fine tales of Masters of Philosphie , Merchants, Justicers, Thinkers , Physicians , Scoundrels , Rascals et al. All with links, however tenuous to the Potter Dynastie.
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby peter rafter » Sun Dec 31, 2017 6:12 pm

ps
Think not of fictional characters and fantasies.
There was one Francis Potter who was Master of Arts at Trinity College, Oxford, Bachelor of Divinity, Rector of Kilmington, Fellow of the Royal Society..
Yea verrily
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby Bob Bull » Mon Jan 01, 2018 2:50 pm

peter rafter wrote:ps
Think not of fictional characters and fantasies.
There was one Francis Potter who was Master of Arts at Trinity College, Oxford, Bachelor of Divinity, Rector of Kilmington, Fellow of the Royal Society..
Yea verrily



Was that Harry Potter's father by any chance, Peter? Odds bodkins!
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby Andrew Potter » Tue Jan 02, 2018 6:21 pm

My wife's initial is H, Bob, so you may imagine what is said when she pays by card. Quite naturally, I'm Harry's Grandad.
In reality, Peter, try an Archbishop, a Bishop of Carlisle, a sheep breeder, a Lancastrian Colonel, on the internet- not the one from 'MASH'- , a chemical manufacturer from Bolton and a bit more obscure, connections to a Lord and an Earl, late of Cobham Hall, Gravesend.
My latest steed has no independent suspension but beam axles both front and rear, A/C, Heated leather seats, Heated screens, DSC -switched off-, Traction Control, a 6 speed gearbox with a crawler first gear, low ratio gearbox, and the ability to lock the front and rear axles. All answers on a postcard please.

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Re: How do I go faster

Postby peter rafter » Thu Jan 04, 2018 7:07 pm

Andrew, Why should it be a surprise to many that you have traced so few eminent and worhy antecedents.
It is often said that genes skip a generation, or more (my own chequered lineage and diaspora is hereby redacted on national securtity grounds, This includes my hitherto succes swith horseless carriages, and also remote relations in the former penal colonies). I assume you have a modified "]berline coupé'.If memory serves T´this was initially introduced by the Fürst von Pumpernickel as a double railed fame.
I presume you have dispensed with postillion outriders and the detached hooded rear seat for a footman.
take care
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby Andrew Potter » Fri Jan 05, 2018 6:09 pm

Perhaps, Peter, you'll be able to try your new booster propeller at Castle Combe on the 6th March?

Might just see you there.

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Re: How do I go faster

Postby peter rafter » Sun Jan 07, 2018 10:16 pm

Andrew,
It pleases me greatly that you have obtained an exeat from your good lady to join we fossils and other ammonites at Castle Combe. Will you waive from your stance at camp corner as I sight the apex?

However, firstly I should first check my vaccination record. Secondly, needs must, apply for a waiver to leave Hallamshire. There is an ancient restriction on inhabitants straying far beyond the hallowed confines and then only on payment of a Tithe (in goods, chattels, or the equivalence of a prescribed weight of sestercii or pomphrey cakes). And then only for a limited number of days and nights. We are told to avoid the local peasantry and also their addiction to their deficient mangel-wurzel based diet.

I hope to have perfected what innovative developments I need to aid my passage through the squiggley bits of the circuit at a much improved pace. I have ruled out your kind suggestions, propellor booster, V12, etc. Also 4 wheel steering. Alas, as in modern medicine there are too often no miracle cures, no silver bullets - just promising proceedures.
pax vobiscum
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby Greg Mackie » Mon Jan 08, 2018 2:47 am

That's the spirit! Just keep on promising, and who knows...
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby peter rafter » Wed Jan 10, 2018 10:48 am

It came to me in a blinding flash. Well only literally speaking. I recall watching a TV clip of I think it was Vettel in a F1 qualifying session where, in special close up focus TV now possible, as opposed to Squire Bob behind a sand bag at Copse, well blow me if he, Vettel didn’t do the whole lap without blinking. Golly Gosh Crikey, theres my problem. I have been blinking too much. Could this be why I have been hopeless in the squiggly bits ( bends, corners, chicanes etc)? Clearly over blinking can make one lose sight of apexes, angle of curvature and radius, even direction. Its almost the same as keeping your eyes closed. I think I tried that once at Eau Rouge (eyes shut mode more out of fear) and earned a 10 second time penalty for off track limits.
However, now I am determined to practice staring in order to greatly reduce my blinking rate (no thats not a swear word). I hope to surpass Vettel and complete a whole race without blinking. Theres one for the record books. In the meantime my daughter advises me to avoid contact with our neighbours and not to go shopping while I am practicing this.
Back to the lab.
Ps
My daughter is pleased with her prescription swimming goggles but thinks my idea of a prescription windscreen for my road car, given my short sightedness, is to be avoided as the passengers would be even more confused than now on where i am going
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby Mary Lindsay » Wed Jan 10, 2018 3:41 pm

Peter, I think I have the answer: either wait until you really need to go to the little boys' room and then race before visiting said facility alternatively, try a dose of Senokot an hour before the race. These strategies should focus your mind and make you drive really fast. :shock: :O:
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