How do I go faster

Race chatter

Re: How do I go faster

Postby Bob Bull » Wed Feb 21, 2018 3:36 pm

TonyLees wrote:
peter rafter wrote:my daughter assures me that, having the majority of my body tattooed with esoteric and eclectic figures and languages in the manner of many sportsmen and F! drivers of today, will not make me go faster.

It can only help.


I think that a natty little beard and sideburns would also enhance the image as a real racing driver, to match the snake tattoo on the neck.

Speaking of tattoos did you hear about the cowboy who asked the tattooist to do a picture of an indian all down his back. After a couple of hours laying there he asked; "How are you getting on?"

The Tattooist replied "Just finishing his turban!"
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby peter rafter » Mon Feb 26, 2018 9:54 am

I may have to set aside two of my latest ideas to “go faster” Firstly Tattoos, although not heavy (pace Mary), are apparently painful. I am a veritable coward. Did you know that antibiotics were developed to treat women who have pneumonia and severe lung infections so that they could look after their menfolk who have “manflu”? Moreover, tatoos can frighten the children in the swimming pool. Secondly, apparently Nasa is investigating the theoretical possibility that explosive antimatter collisions could be used to accelerate a starship to a large fraction of the speed of light. One was a large fraction when I was dozing in the mafematics lesson. However, even if I could implement said antimatter collisions in my still under wraps DFA box then I would still need to steer the rapdly accelerating pretty red car around Spa . It just may be that steering has been one of my problems. Also, Nasa did not explain the subsequent braking proceedure.
Back to the lab
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby peter rafter » Sun Mar 11, 2018 10:44 pm

I was unable to make Snetterton for the “Blow the Cobwebs” session. In recompense and with great fortitude I journeyed to Castle Combe for the Richard Thorne Track Day (we northerners can get nosebleed travelling so far south into uncharted waters— and yes there was some precipitation). It was capably managed by a new venture i.e. ClassicsTrack Days and its effervescent owner, John Bevan who was there in person, not as expected , as a cardboard cut -out or a hologram. One Mark Hales, who has some form in the auto world, was on hand to proffer advice to Richards and Johns customers, However, lo and behold, prime entertainment was laid on by Morgan ((Ian) showcasing and introducing the new “club sport show” in conjunction with the University of Wolverhampton support team. Tony Hirst, driving the car for the first time, frightened the life out of his passengers (witness their white face looks of horror) as he slowly, no this is not the right word, rapidly got to grip with the new 2 litre rocketship. I say rocket ship as it seemed to fly past a pretty red car hogging the racing line.

Also in attendance, and on track with some merit, was Nigel Bradford, ostensibly a journo of a publication that her asserts should be pillow reading of all morgan aficianados.

There were scurrilous assertions that the new Club sport came complete with a magnetic undertray to catch all the hand built parts that fall off in transit, and a rear roller bush assembly that swept all extra assemblies that escape the magnetic tray sideways off the racing line.

In reality it was a finely presented, expertly prepared and supported car with huge potential. It will be interesting to see how it develops and entices new entrants into the series. I will follow its progresss under Tony andCcraig with interest—-albeit at a distance.

I waited forlornly for the arrival off one Andrew Potter (remember he) who, I was convinced would be on hand, to show me on a confidential basis, how to translate and refine my proposals and theories of how to go faster into real time on track. It appears that his wife had other plans and he failed to materialise. I am speechless. In what sort of world do we live in where wives are allowed to intrude on intrinsically important matters. Explanations on a post card.
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby Andrew Potter » Mon Mar 12, 2018 5:29 pm

Mea culpa, Peter. However, in my defence, I had taken the trouble to inform rtcc that I wouldn’t be in attendance to watch your miraculous go-faster efforts. In actual fact I was oooooop north, having by-passed Hallam, and coming to terms with the fallout from ‘The Beast from the East’.
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby peter rafter » Mon Mar 19, 2018 11:50 pm

Andrew, with some reluctance your absence from Castle Combe is excused but I do hope you will grace us with your presence at one of our Challenge Rounds in the coming season. I would hope that one of our resident hacks (Bob or Nigel) could interrogate you on your reflections on what must have been the most rewarding and happiest times of your illustrious career and/or life?

At Castle Combe I wasn’t asking to walk on the waves, simply how to go faster. What were the pathways? Was the answer (and dare I shun) the scientific and empirical? Or, look inwards? Not piety, prayer and self belief. Not meditation but a similar stage of mind. Transience. In such a state I had apparitions and visions of wafting effortlessly around the circuit oblivious to the impossibility and obstacles. On reflection, and in the real world, it seemed that (if my recalcitrant fuel gauge can be believed) i was averaging over 80 mpg, which in some circumstances cannot be reconciled with blasting round the track hoping to catch the new Club Sport.In conclusion, forget Metaphysics. Stick with Simpulphysics.
ps
I had a vision of a super-fast horizontal paternoster lift positioned on the straight where I, and only I could, jump in and exit 2 or 3 car lengths in front of any vehicle.
Alas, It will not be ready for Spa.
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby TonyLees » Tue Mar 20, 2018 4:58 pm

How to go faster?
Simples: don't break down.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YboNXPkXsGA
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby peter rafter » Tue Mar 20, 2018 6:30 pm

Superb coverage.
Most enjoyable.
Timing problems Tony?
Just a suggestion but should you stick to 20 minute races?
ps
Clever tactics to lay down a smoke screen, (note to self).
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby Bob Bull » Fri Mar 23, 2018 5:29 pm

Dear Compo,
I must confess to a most monumental blunder. In my Preview of the forthcoming Aero Challenge for MOG magazine I completely forgot to mention you own chances of snatching the accolades from the grasp of Hiberian youth.

I suppose the only consolation I can offer is that your blinding pace will not be anticipated, and therefore making it unlikely that counter measures might be deployed to thwart your certain domination.

As an experienced photographer I appreciate that I too, will have to contend with the problems of capturing your progress around the circuit, thus I am seeking a decent ex-NASA camera capable of shutter speed measured in fractions of a millisecond.

Will I need to wear a good quality anti- nuclear suit?

Humbly yours,

R F Bob.
Ace Photograp…… you know!
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby TonyLees » Fri Mar 23, 2018 5:46 pm

peter rafter wrote:Superb coverage.
Most enjoyable.
Timing problems Tony?
Just a suggestion but should you stick to 20 minute races?
ps
Clever tactics to lay down a smoke screen, (note to self).

Timing was the least part of the problem!
Two teeth fell off pinion, jammed crownwheel, bent shaft, mushed key, broke bevel box. Explains lack of oil in box when stripped.... Teeth show signs of long term fatigue. I blame the driver.
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby peter rafter » Fri Mar 23, 2018 6:11 pm

"Two teeth fell off pinion, jammed crownwheel, bent shaft, mushed key, broke bevel box. Explains lack of oil in box when stripped.... Teeth show signs of long term fatigue"
Too much detail about you.
What about the car?
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby peter rafter » Fri Mar 23, 2018 9:28 pm

Fear not Bob.
I have a cunning plan....
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby peter rafter » Sat Mar 24, 2018 2:15 pm

No it does not include the new Vettel haircut...
A throwback to the shaved heads of teutonic warriors.
Does He expect to go faster?
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby Bob Bull » Thu Apr 05, 2018 2:48 pm

Recently I was browsing through a copy of 'Racing Drivers of South Yorkshire' I discovered on a dusty shelf In our local library, and was intrigued by the story of certain driver who competed under the pseudonym 'Compo Drafter'. Apparently he was heir to a massive rag and bone empire and did not wish his father to know about his weekend activities.
During the early years of the last century he raced exclusively at Rufforth Raceway in South Yorkshire, and became almost a legend for his successes at the circuit, knowing every twist and turn, every bump in the road, every short cut, intimately.

In his later years he bought a natty red sports car and attempted to recreate his achievments at other circuits in the UK, however, his brain could not cope with the differing layouts, and he tried to lap each venue as if it were his old favourite, Rufforth. Inevitanbly this left him floundering at the back of the pack at every race. Psychatrists discovered that the poor chap had a serious mental problem that they described as having a ...


One track mind!
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby Bob Bull » Fri Apr 13, 2018 11:29 am

Following the recent events at Snetterton is there any evidence that Peter Rafter went faster (than before)?
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Re: How do I go faster

Postby Leigh Sebba » Fri Apr 13, 2018 3:30 pm

He didn’t wait for me – and after the race I saw him leaving the circuit wearing a bow tie – perhaps he thought the Mike Hawthorn look would help his speed on track
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