Racing Licence

Race chatter

Racing Licence

Postby peter rafter » Mon Oct 15, 2018 9:43 pm

I cannot believe that It’s that time of year again already. Oh the angst, The deep feeling of anxiety and dread. The uncertainty.
Why didn’t anybody warn me? On which day of the moon cycle should i abstain from worldly pleasures just to pass a medical? Not the simple explanation to the Quack about how many units one imbibes (near our just below the national guidelines, honestly Doc).
How did I manage it last year? I have no recollection of a bribe? What were the symptons, fears and remediations of previous years. It seems that that the old faults and deficiencies persist and yet each year new problems emerge. I should have listened to my Father. Maybe also my Mother who said “whatever you do, don’t get old”. Good advice except for the alternative!
The diseases and unbecoming afflictions of ageing, the clear up of the clutter of biologically useless older people. Why include me?
A list of medication. A list of surgical procedures. Rester Calm.
Have I left it too late? Not good for my fragile self esteem.
No, It is the annual MSA Licence form which is due shortly.. If memory serves, I recall in a previous medical appointment there were moments of high comedy. Or was that my Birthday medical review or Flu jab?
How can there can’t be a problem? In the bathroom mirror I have a sculpted body, a hollywood hopeful. I exude and radiate good health, an olive tinge to a flawless complexion, an elegant profile, a dazzling smile, melting chocolate eyes, a windswept mane. Is this before or after i put my contact lenses in? It is hard to believe that i am now an unemployed gigolo!!
I am now to embark on a strict regime to lose weight and hopefully sail through the medical and hopefully improve my times next year
No Alcohol
Daily Exercise
Diet control, less chips and other savoury and good tasting food
No chocolate
No ice cream
No daily weighing
No Granola for breakfast ( i spend the rest of the dat extracting it from my teeth)
still thinking on this
ps
if you ask what my father said, I don t know, i wasn’t listening,,,,
pps
Adrenaline is brown
peter
peter rafter
 
Posts: 649
Joined: Fri Nov 17, 2006 8:37 pm

Re: Racing Licence

Postby peter rafter » Tue Oct 16, 2018 7:59 pm

Re the strict regime
Day !
the alcohol ban just went out the window
Hic
ps
I used to tell my children at bedtime that there is nothing in the dark that wasn't there in the light.
Now Im not so sure..
peter
peter rafter
 
Posts: 649
Joined: Fri Nov 17, 2006 8:37 pm

Re: Racing Licence

Postby peter rafter » Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:11 pm

Day 2
This exercise Malarky is no Fun.
Even after my daughter suggested that I transfer the time elapse camera from the pretty red car to my bicycle.
Okay, I probably left it too late.
I am rarely short of words but must confess that as I was festooned with adhesive skin-electrodes and trailing cable wires, and struggling vainly with the devilish modern instrument of torture, i.e. the treadmill, full amnesia set in. The horror villain masquerading as a Nurse gleefully raised both the revolutions and power incline/gradient and with barely a cursory glance at the electrocardiogram recording the multitudinous red and black trace lines, peaks and troughs. Worse still she enquired with a psychopathic smile “how do you feel now?” With an increasing chug chug of the unlubricated tread belt and the thrum thrum of the blood then deserting my core organs and pooling in my newly purchased trainers i tried the insouciant and nonchalant raising of the eyebrow. But to no avail. Eventually from deep within I sputtered a pained and woeful”aarghhhh”. I think she understood.

Sill there always the diet…..
peter
peter rafter
 
Posts: 649
Joined: Fri Nov 17, 2006 8:37 pm

Re: Racing Licence

Postby peter rafter » Thu Oct 18, 2018 2:15 pm

Day 3
Diet
Ah yes. It appears that you cannot eat any food that makes you fat, gain weight, or tastes in any form palatable. Well rollocks to that.
One effect of my antigravity proposal for the pretty red car is weightlessness. Henceforth I shall ignore gravity and assume I have no weight to be concerned with. (and yes you can finish a sentence with a preposition or even a with).

In any case at a luncheon with many dignitaries and lesser worthies the very word diet must have failed to skip across the relevant synapse. It was a sumptuous feast with lashings of vino. Unfortunately if twas intended as a showcase of English vino then they would have done better than to serve the muddy brown almost brackish liquid which in colour and odour resembled that at the bottom of my garden pond.

It brought to mind Peter Ustinov, who when at a reception at the Russian Embassy was offered Russian Champagne. With extreme good grace he declined politely and and asked instead if he could have a glass of the inferior French variety.
peter
peter rafter
 
Posts: 649
Joined: Fri Nov 17, 2006 8:37 pm


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