Coro

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peter rafter
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Re: Coro

Post by peter rafter »

COVID-19, the disease caused by the new coronavirus, can cause lung complications such as pneumonia and, in the most severe cases, acute respiratory distress syndrome, or ARDS. Sepsis, superinfection and can also cause lasting harm to the lungs and other organs.

It could be retribution but following a close encounter of the normal kind our intrepid journalist contracted covid, had difficulty with his breathing, and eventually suffered a black out. He is in a hospital intensive care ward.

On his phone is a text from the sub editor: “Altho the Newspaper and Agency have a private medical scheme for staff we think this is a first class opportunity for you to report from the front line in a normal underfunded NHS Hospital. It will be a hot bed of infection. Probable Hospital Acquired infections in England remain persistently high. In your situation you will be well positioned to gain an insight in real time on all aspects of its treatment. We are sending your laptop, dongle and packet of smokes.. Waste no time. In the words of that song “ac-cent-tchu-ate the negative, eliminate the positive, spread gloom up to the maximum, don’t mess with Mr. In-between”. Think crises, unqualified contract staff, fast track pathways to the mortuary, insanitary conditions etc.
If they are not apparent or too difficult to establish just make it up. Oh and don’ t get well too soon.
Ps how did the interview with wives go? Any pics? Any toy boys?

The Journo is drifting in and out of consciousness. His lung capacity is severely restricted. Among healthy adults, the average lung capacity is about 6 litres compared to a 55-litres for a horse, although our respiratory tract is highly specialised for speech. He can hardly breathe let alone speak.

In his waking moments he sees rows of plastic encased cells festooned with wires and oxygen tubes..There is little noise and he can’t smell smell his disinfected and sterilised surroundings. He is experiencing the full gamut of emotions, anxiety, fear, depression and only occasionally relief.

In reality a Hospital is a world apart from the venal media circus.
Hospitals are never humdrum.They are overwhelmed, now swamped with patients, a high proportion them of elderly and infirm. Many recovered cases cannot be discharged until they test positive and they haunt the corridors. It’s perplexing but were not the Nightingales meant to be the corvid treatment centres, allowing the Hospitals to play catch up on the backlog of acute care?

Seemingly hourly meetings of Doctors, nurses and staff tracking and shuffling numbers. Numbers of theatres, beds, nurses, equipment, capacity levels. Acute surgery is a lottery, interminable delays with unknown consequences. You cannot fault the dedication and expertise of everybody The standard of care is exceptional. They nurse, care reassure and counsel.

Tears. The pendulum has swung from tears of joy and laughter to tears of sorrow, grief and mourning.

Any vaccine that works is a ray of Hope.

Elsewhere, in the Department, there is an all day brainstorming session led by the latest SpAd and yet another fuzzy haired scientist.. Are they breeding? They spread stealthily and unbeknown, but not benignly, just like those roots and shoots of the Japanese knotweed. The Agenda which is aimed to challenge those firmly held shibboleths includes: How to stop infection? How dangerous are the mutations? Does churning out endless statistics help? Why is it always the fault of the Government? Why is it that 30% of patients with Coro did not initially test positive for the virus? Why do we need to shut down London? Why Furlough? Why not just give the money to the NHS? What is all this costing us? Why is this Department known in Whitehall as The “ Circumlocution Office”?

The Minister, for once noticeably awake is incandescent, filled with righteous indignation and huffs and puffs (later asking his PPS why are we called the circumcision office?.

He had also visited Israel on a parliamentary sponsored exchange but could not recall visiting Shibboleth.

Tbc but only if you have read the recent postings.

ps
The Cicumlocution Office was the type of a government department, satirised in Dickens's 1857 novel Little Dorrit in which the establishment is shown as run purely for the benefit of its incompetent and obstructive officials.

pps
1876. Otto Builds his First Functioning Four-Stroke Engine; Mark Twain Publishes "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer”; the Bass Brewery Red Triangle becomes the first registered trademark symbol, under the Trade Mark Registration Act 1875.The FA Cup final – The Wanderers 3–0 Old Etonians in a replay following a 1–1 draw (both games played at The Oval).
peter
peter rafter
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Re: Coro

Post by peter rafter »

Well the bubbles have burst (except that is for the Government and its advisors.) Intriguing don’t you think? The Administration is drifting like the Mary Celeste but with less control.

Jottings for the official and unofficial record, and personal diary.

A prickly dressing down at No 10? it was meant to be a proper bollicking for the Minister. Time to throw yourself off the Reichenbach Falls? Since time immemorial Governments, the Monarchy, even the Civil service, have been held to up to censure by means of ridicule, derision, burlesque, irony, parody, caricature. Satire. ….Horace, Swift, Pope, Hogarth et al. He, however, has set a new benchmark, a precedent…. And so on.

On his return and despite his outward look of aggrievement he is inwardly pleased. Who are they to lecture him on moral rectitude, probity, patriotism. For real chastisement speak to nanny. He is now more than ever resolved to join the “putsch”. That is if he could fathom who was leading it. Perhaps Toby knows? More later.

Whitehall. Minister there are two main types of internal combustion engine: the spark ignition engine and the diesel. Nikolaus Otto is generally credited with building the first-four-stroke internal combustion engine in 1876. In doing so he established the principle still in use today. The Otto cycle was modified, a simplification, by Rudolph Diesel in the 1890s. Nowadays, Electricity in rechargeable batteries powers an electric motor, which turns the wheels, yes Minister just like the old Milk Float, only faster, but in Town slower.

More pressing, the Minister has been invited to attend a meeting with MI5 at the SIS building in Vauxhall Cross. The Rt. Hon Member is a Privy Counsellor. The Privy Council is an archaic advisory body to the Monarch. It is one of the oldest parts of the UK’s constitutional arrangements, with its origins dating back to at least the thirteenth century. It is supposed to be a collection of the great and good, e.g. in Tudor times William Cecil and Thomas Cromwell, but Jeremy and Diane?

The Director general? No minister not the DG but it will be somebody of rank. It is a serious affair of National Importance. Matters of Sate? This is not a time for preening. MI5 has a branch dedicated to countering espionage, the passing of sensitive information to other countries and the actions of foreign intelligence officers where these are damaging to the country’s interests. They wish to do a sweep of your house(s).

I hesitate to dishearten you Minister, but this may be about your new, ahem, companion. Reach for the defibrillator. Yes she has golden hair and dark lustrous eyes, a beguiling husky voice, a seductive enticing décolletage and undoubtedly many other attributes, some less obvious. (What happened to the French maîtresse ?)

Yes Minister, you met her at a reception held at the Russian Embassy on the visit to London of the Bolshoi Company. We all recall your witty retort at the time that at the ballet you could not hear a word they said. Yes it must have been the Russian Champagne. Very droll.

No Minister the SIS building still exists, it was not blown up in those Bond Films. That was simply digital editing and pixel manipulation. They have made huge strides in the digital field, AI etc. There are even computers that can master Chess Masters. Yes computers can play chess.The Minister looks baffled and asks how do the computers move the pieces?

In your meeting with the Secret Service you do not have the right to remain silent. You can be “in listening mode” The days of the Tower and primitive torture are regrettably long past. They have more sophisticated measures these days. Try VictoriaFalls? Oh and Up Yours is not a legal defence. We only wish we had the power to help you, but if you have to eat a frog or worm do not look at it too long.

Minister rushes of to speak with his Kroshka.

The Police chase off a gaggle of urchins ostensibly carol singing in great harmony but actually using their I phones.

At the hospital, the persistent soft sighs and the rhythm of the ventilators, the constant sterilisation, the changing shifts. The doctors explain that it is not a new virus but a new strain. The infection rate is lower than expected but higher than safe, what does this mean? Who measures transmission rates. They are at the boundaries of what is understood and what is not. Often Doctors and staff can only shrug their shoulders in despondency or desperation.

The journalist breathes slowly and with great difficulty. It weighs heavily on the mind. His editor texts. “There are too many plebs here cranking up and regurgitating good news stories. Vaccine, vaccine etc. In our democracy the press must have the the protection unrestrained by the bridle of laws to fulfil its essential role i.e. to dish up the dirt. He is expecting a torrent of gloom. Spice it up. We want readers to write in and complain!”.

ps

The Met had held an identity parade of wobbly bits for the Kennel Maid (because of social distancing she was showed only photographs). She is now casting doubt on her earlier certainty. As a consequence Inspector Useless renews his plea for information on those proficient in transposing faces of reputable persons onto others in embarrassing positions and situations.

pps

In Germany hoarding is known a Hamstring.
peter
peter rafter
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Re: Coro

Post by peter rafter »

Hamster Hamstering
peter
peter rafter
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Re: Coro

Post by peter rafter »

It is a real wonder how the The Burgesses of Hallamshire mange to hold onto their culture and sustainable way of life even as they become increasingly exposed to the modern world. Such resilience and stoicism. They will not abandon principle. Here in this blessed land Gentlemen sire, wives beget, nannies care, governesses educate, and cook nourishes. Parlour and scullery maids, gardeners, chauffeurs, land agents and Butlers serve. Parsons preach "Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants".―Epictetus.

Elsewhere in the villages the populace organise a ceremony of thanks, taking the knee, hollering, ululating and banging cooking pots to acknowledge the forgotten heroes of this pandemic, namely the Amazon delivery drivers.

Merry Christmas to all for at least a day.

Ps
Take great care if travelling on the roads. Many are drinking excessively and letting their wives drive.
peter
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Mary Lindsay
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Re: Coro

Post by Mary Lindsay »

Merry Christmas to all!
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JERRY KNIGHT
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Re: Coro

Post by JERRY KNIGHT »

Same to you and John ,and thanks for all your hard work over the last 12 months
And anybody else who knows me bah humbug !!
peter rafter
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Re: Coro

Post by peter rafter »

Bah Humbug indeed. Jerry you are no Ebenezer. You are not abandoned. You have no fear of Marley’s ghost. You are not past all hope. What spirit will strive within, Spirit what perversity is this? Are these not the shadows of things that will be but the shadows of of things that may be,
You may go a wassailing or dance the Roger de Coverley with your beloved
regards.
peter
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JERRY KNIGHT
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Re: Coro

Post by JERRY KNIGHT »

Happy new year Peter
Keep it up
peter rafter
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Re: Coro

Post by peter rafter »

If I may prevail and tax your patience a little longer:

Advent, Christmas, done. Betjeman wrote “the most momentous tale of all, seen in a stained glass window’s hue, and is it true, for if it is…. “ but then he was a rank sentimentalist.

At such times even unbelievers may look to the Church, but in vain. Np compression and no spark. The advent bells were seldom heard, and yet the Chapters of our great cathedrals, those harbingers of doom, ordain that they will remain silent. No ringing in the new year, no ushering in the new beginning, no calling the faithful to worship. GO all you faithful. Need for a cull of parishioners?

On new year’s eve Buddhist temples all over Japan ring their bells a total of 108 times (joyanokane (除夜の鐘)) to symbolise the 108 human sins in Buddhist belief, and to rid the 108 worldly desires of sense and feeling. Now that is a proper quiz question. Answers on a postcard please.

Papers released under the 30 year rule reveal that:
Elizabeth and Phillip slept together. With hindsight many are now questioning whether this was at all wise.
In the UK, the ten-shilling note ceases to be legal tender. That’s a bugger because I’ve just found 2 in an old wallet.
70s fashion style: hippie bell bottom trousers, baggy Y fronts with the loose elastic, ponchos, full length kaftans, renaissance ruffles with silk lacing. it doesn’t say what the women wore.
Tricky Rickie and gravelly voiced Henry plan the carpet bombing of Cambodia.

At the Hospital the journalist is undergoing extracorporeal membrane oxygenation (ECMO), a type of respiratory support, which is given to Covid-19 patients after other treatments have failed.

The editor texts “ while you are there ask how does disease spread in the body? Why is the severity of symptoms so varied? What works and what does not in preventing infection and limiting its effects? What is this antibody treatment that could prevent people exposed to the coronavirus from falling ill? What are new and emerging respiratory virus threats? As to those extra big thermos thingys, the office flask here keeps the coffee hot, how does the hospital flask know to keep the vaccine cold? You haven’t replied to my earlier texts. Is your phone low on battery?

A new skill to be practised is the “fly half side step” as patients, Doctors and nurses, radiologists, cleaners, staff and porters with beds, trolleys and wheelchairs, endeavour to give each other a wide berth in the narrow corridors. Hotels can only look on look with envy at the Hospital occupancy rates.

It is normally a dead time for politics. But Brexit rules. However, does the settlement need to be ratified by all the 27 member states? There can’t be many points of dissension. Poland still haggling over WW2 reparations, Hungary and the Judicial system, egocentric Emmanuel, Angela’s successor, poor Moldovia, the Russian pipeline, migration, recession, Erdogan and so on and so on.

The Minister is in no danger of becoming an irrelevance. Paradoxically his popularity has never been so high and he is basking in the glory. How can this be? More of this later.

ps
Christmas Day 1990 world wide web launched.

pps
Chief rabbi Sacks said religious differences should always be amicable. “When the Messiah comes, he should be met by a priest and a rabbi and they will ask him very politely, ‘Is this your first or second coming?’?”

ppps
The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
peter
peter rafter
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Re: Coro

Post by peter rafter »

A more sober report.

"Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur", which translates to “anything said in latin sounds profound”. Latin, the “sacred language” of the church, Plantagenet and Tudor England, and the Holy Roman Empire. However, in the first century every prostitute in Rome spoke it fluently—and much better than most people in the Roman Curia.” (Foster). But enough of this Church bashing, except for shame to the Monk who described the conjunction of the solar system’s two giant planets, Jupiter and Saturn as the Star of Bethlehem.

Minister. What breaks over yonder horizon? Not one, but two black clouds loom large, portents of disgrace, ostracism, ruin and penury. IPSA and the Secret service? The mills of Government grind exceedingly slow yet exceedingly fine.

We find The Minister in Chelsea, in deep melancholia. The rain lashes against the sash windows. He frets, which is stage one of wholesale panic, before “desperare “ to be without hope. It is a house but no longer a home. Empty, no aromas of fresh baking, no cook, (wifey used the smoke alarm as the oven timer), no wife, no familiar noises, children fighting, the barking, the mewing, the boiler failing, the pipes singing, the musty smell of the cellar. Mrs Miele maintain the household chores previously undertaken by His cleaning lady. There is scant solace even in fine wine. He winds the Thomas Tompion clock. There is a note from nanny that the roof on her cottage in the Highland is leaking and the children, the labrador and the cats do not miss him but send their love anyway. He watches one of those travelogues on the Nile by an overly well proportioned presenter but has difficulty concentrating on the ancient artifacts. The travelogues are a fine way to see the World’s treasures without the discomfort, the heat and the flies. Imagine walking the Nazca Lines.

The post, bills from his Lawyer, his shirtmaker and the garage. Who introduced vat? It’s monstrous. His accountant, who admits only a faint acquaintance with accepted accounting standards is in the annual battle with the Revenue. He is a past master of the sin of omission and the fine lines drawn between misrepresentation, misunderstanding and fraud and is formulating a response to IPSA and seeks a meeting.

The Secret Service. Who will lead the inquisition? What to fear? Nanny could induce a cold sweat instantly merely by raising an eyebrow. Treachery is more familiar to the French than it is to us. In the years ahead treason will take new and various forms. George Blake thought “Communism didn’t fail — people did”.

All the elements of espionage, duplicity, concealment, subterfuge, inducement, betrayal, guilt, conscience, conviction, clandestine and covert surveillance, sabotage, indifference you learn at prep school. All features that are equally obligatory in the practice of Law. One faint redeeming hope is that she (femme fatale) seemed to pay more attention to his MOD colleagues than to him. He will claim primacy between the sheets. He muses that the security measures at certain establishments may have been so well hidden as to be imperceptible.

He is back to brushing up his French.

The sub editor cannot hide his frustration. He sends more cigarettes and a new phone to his hitherto non responsive journalist confined in the Intensive care unit. He delegates a shrewd colleague well practiced in the insidious, devious cunning, guile and dark arts of journalism to scour the wine bars and corridors of power (those that are open or functioning in the lockdown) in search of anything to resuscitate flagging circulation sales and plunging advertising revenue. They have even resorted to clickbait.

Ferdinand Porsche, invented the first Hybrid car in 1900, but to little acclaim. His descendants went on to ignore received wisdom in propelling cars, and do so to this day.

Over the pond He still maintains the election was stolen, however legitimate the means.

Age. First you forget names and faces. Then you forget to zip your fly up. And, finally, you forget to pull it down (Gracie Allen?)

ps
We hope and pray that 2021 will be better than 2020.
peter
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Re: Coro

Post by peter rafter »

Schrödinger's Virus
Whilst MPs enjoy an extended recess (holiday), Ministers must work. Duty calls. The first departmental meeting of the new year. The new Scientific advisor is engaged in an intense but surreal and fruitless conversation with the Minister. The Minister is now intent on calling it “Schrödinger’s virus and vaccine”; “We all have Schrödinger’s virus now, ergo, we have to act as if we have the virus so that we don't spread it to others”. He wants to go on the daily TV briefing and urge the public to stay indoors and not to approach the virus.

The Scientist is astounded that he or indeed any politician has such a grasp of quantum theory, but advises caution in that it was not a real experiment and therefore did not scientifically prove anything. The scientist is extemporising on how simple misinterpretations of quantum theory can lead to absurd results which do not match the real world. Quantum systems do have definite properties; we just do not know enough about those systems to precisely predict their behaviour. Just like the virus reprises the Minister triumphantly? It transpires Schrödinger was the subject on one of those “Fisics made Simple” programmes on the CBeebies channel.

The problem is that when scientists start they don’t know when to stop. Mercifully, the tea trolly arrives. However, spraying a mouthful of custard creams over the Minister he launches into a sermon on Artificial Intelligence, algorithms, the limitations of cognitive capacity, job losses (Robots don’t pay taxes), and AI alongside us or in charge? We conclude that the new scientist is a genuine “barn find”, and needs some recommissioning.

Fortunately the Government Chief Scientific Adviser (GCSA) and Head of the Government Science and Engineering (GSE) rings in for the pre arranged conference call. The latest focus is on “transmission”. Tests have shown this strain is much more transmissible, at least until the figures prove otherwise. A warp in the genome affects the most dangerous element of the crown-like virus particle — the spike protein that binds itself to receptor cells in the human respiratory system, which then spreads disease around the body. However, he takes great pleasure in reporting that the UK is in the van of the vaccine roll out and far ahead of Germany. France is the laggard, incroyable. The Minister suggests the French policy of administering the vaccine through enemas might account for the slow uptake there.

The better survival rates of treatment have not yet permeated down to patients in the ICUs. The problem with the Nightingale facilities is that there are not enough qualified staff to maintain them and the Hospitals.

Later, the the Department is pleased to see the Minister depart for his Chirac Lunch. On his return rejuvenated but hungry, mumbling profanities, (merde et plus merde), he pores over the New Year’s Honours list with howls of disbelief.

In Cabinet post Brexit he senses an imperceptible shift in power. But in which direction? The rumour mill is in full flow. There will be a well organised putsch. A putsch, deBojoned? It’s only a matter of time. He hopes for a proper blood-filled coup. Nevertheless, doubts weigh heavily on his mind not least the fear of recriminations. It matters not that there is scant evidence or even a need at this point in time. There are always conspiracies, you don’t need facts or foundation, just ingenuity in fabrication. Worryingly nobody has seen fit to consult with him.Toby is doubly incontinent. Hopeless.

Fiction and Fact.
The Government has a brave new recovery plan which is focused on its priorities, delivers real value for money and forms an important part of the fulfilment of promises to the electorate—-Fiction. ,”

The Monaco grand prix takes place because many of the drivers live there—Fact.

ps
Have you noticed one benefit of the absence of spectators in football is that the serial divers, Neymar and the complete Series A etc, spring back to their feet instead of rolling around in fake agony.
peter
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Bob Bull
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Re: Coro

Post by Bob Bull »

I have been summoned for a jab on Sunday, age has it's advantages.
Ace Photograp…… you know!
Regards
peter rafter
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Re: Coro

Post by peter rafter »

did they offer you the French vaccine?
let us know how you get on
peter
gregparnell
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Re: Coro

Post by gregparnell »

If we train all Amazon drivers to give the vaccine then everyone will be immunised by Sunday or Friday if you have Prime 😂
Leigh Sebba
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Re: Coro

Post by Leigh Sebba »

Why is Bob getting his jab so soon ?

Because he is a frequent user of the cartoon video site jib jab
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