MGCC

[Bob Bull]

With the promise of 'flaming June' from the weatherman this should be a good meeting, and I look forward to meeting old friends and greeting new ones. It will also give those who I have offended a chance to retaliate. I shall have microphone and camera at the ready and hope to capture a few poor souls who can't move quickly enough to avoid the embarrassment of being interviewed, while hopefully capturing any indiscretions, both on and off track, on camera.

Bob the Reporter.

Note to Mark: keep your trousers up at all times.

Who should I look out for?

[Chris Acklam]

You also threatened to put it all down in print, so you'll need a pencil stub behind the ear and notebook too - perhaps also a handbag to accommodate all your bulky accoutrements.

Who to look out for? Well, there's a poser (about whom my lips are sealed). But who will look good on radio?

There will be a lot of us there on the Saturday, ostensibly for the Thoroughbreds race but actually for the barbecue and occasional tipple in the evening. You should join us then for a beer to put faces (depending on how many beers of course) to names.

[Bob Bull]

Chris,
You really have aroused (my interest). Who is this Poser of whom you speak? (through sealed lips of course), it seems a trifle harsh to describe any Morgan driver as such, but you know them better than I do.
I await the day with breath well and truly baited.

I shall rush out and buy a pencil immediately.

BB

[Chris Acklam]

I await the day with breath well and truly baited.

We'll stand well back in that case (I just keep mine bated - less likely to catch something).

Mind you, if you come armed with microphones, cameras and pencils you may be faced with looks of alarm and incomprehension (somewhat similar to an MP being asked to account for his expenses) when approaching the intrepid pilotes. Personally I find an expansive shrug and a polite "No spikka da English, Señor" generally works. Always glad to help the meeja...

[Bob Bull]

Dear Chris,
As we seem to have this section to ourselves it is safe to write a few private thoughts out of sight of other members of this Sect, firstly may I thank you for correcting my English in private and not on some public site. I am forced to admit that I was very annoyed at your temerity, however, once my fury had abated I realised how grateful I should be that no one else would be aware of my mistake, which could have ruined my reputation as a top flight journo.
I would point out though that it does not matter how you spell words on the radio!!

Do not think that your 'no speeka da englis..' ploy will save you as I have interviewed all manner of frogs, dagoes, spics, wops as well as geordies, taffs, yorkies and jocks in my time, so know how to handle any situation. In the world of broadcasting I am know as 'Colditz' as no one gets away.

Also you have no need to worry about my physical well being as I am quite capable of dragging a huge weight of assorted recording equipment, cameras, pens, pencils, notebooks, photographers bib and programme around the paddock, although should you be offering your services .........?

You suggest that I might wish to linger after the days racing to mingle with the hoi poloi of the Morgan world. Personally I am not much for binge drinking and whether I stay may depend on how many 'rough types' are hanging around the barbecue machine as I am told that there are two kinds of Morgan drivers;
Beer swilling, football shirted, foul mouthed types and ........ their husbands.

I hope that my slightly non PC approach does not cause offence, but as it is just the two of us, well ... who cares!

Look forward to seeing you for real,

Kind regards,


Bob.

[Mark Shears]

Ooops - sorry! I didn't realise this was a locked site. I must have accidentally stumbled into it! Don't know how that happened.

Mark

PS Bob, I find your missives erudite, literate and very amusing.In fact at times like this - very funny! But don't worry - I won't tell anyone. They'll never know!

[Chris Acklam]

Careful, Mr Bull, the City of London Police regard the word 'sect' as racist and will arrest and infict any number of indignities upon you should you repeat it in public. Quite how their country cousins in the Three Counties will react is unknown, but I am sure you have them in your pocket, so probably no problem there.

and whether I stay may depend on how many 'rough types' are hanging around the barbecue machine

Oops, too much detail there, I think. How you conduct your evenings is entirely your business, and quite legal in private now I understand. Do take care though, those machines can inflict nasty burns if you inadvertently get too close.

I look forward to meeting a proppa top flight journo. After a few years of watching them stumble back to the office from sessions at Balls Brothers, the Wig and Pen and the City Golf Club to sit down heavily and scribble away blearily for the final edition, has led me to have a somewhat jaundiced view of your average hack. But I am sure that your abhorrence of the demon drink puts you in a class apart. I will reserve a diet Coke or some other disgusting non-alcoholic drink for you should you be able to tear yourself away from the rough types.

[Bob Bull]

Crumbs! Corks! Blimey!
Chris!!!! My secret it out, it must be Shear bad luck that an outsider has stumbled on my message to you, I just hope that you are not tarnished with the same brush as myself because the Politically Correct Enforcement Quango would not approve of the language at all.

Do you know where I can get a false moustache?

Mark my words, we're all doomed.

Private Fraser.

[Chris Acklam]

Speaking of false moustaches, how in fact are we to recognise you? Not wishing to cast our valuable pearls before lesser swine, we need to be able to identify a world-famous journo successfully. Or, like Jeeves, will you appear noiselessly at one's elbow murmuring 'Would sir care to comment?'.

[Bob Bull]

Chris,
I was forgetting you are one of those less fortunate individuals who has not had the honour of being addressed by such a distinguished celebrity, like what I am.
Do not worry though because as I arrive amongst the assembled Morgan enthusiasts a great cheer will go up followed by a cry of "BOB". (similar to the cry of 'Norm' that greeted the character from Cheers).

However, should that fail to occur, I advise you to look out for a towering Adonis impeccably turned out in Yves Sant Laurent with footwear by Gucci, this way you won't notice the overweight, balding and shabbily dressed figure sidling up next to you, clutching a microphone.

Well perhaps it might be better if I post a picture on the site ....Oh! I don't know how to do that, do I?
Tell you what I'll e-mail you a suitable likeness and let you do it. (thanks for that tip Tony)


Bob

Note to Mark Shears: If you are going to go hacking in to private correspondence willy nilly, I may have to ask my daughter to revisit he opinion.

BTR

[Chris Acklam]

The BBC Publicity machine has been pestering me ever since I professed not to know how to recognise their top motorsport reporter. They subsequently sent me a library pic of Mr Bull, albeit obviously heavily airbrushed and Photoshopped, which will allow all of you who wish to reach out to your public via the BBC airwaves to accost him next weekend with your tales of derring-do. Click here.