A New Year Message

[Bob Bull]

"You always hurt the one love, the one you shouldn't hurt at all.
You always take the sweetest rose and crush it 'til the petals fall"

C'mon Mary, you know I'm only joshing!

Did you hear about the tortoise who was mugged by a snail?
When the police asked him can you describe your assailant, he said;
No it all happened so fast!

I'm sure the photo in question was very nice, and much better than any of my efforts, although mine are free.

Forgiven?

Bully Boy

[Mary Lindsay]

Dear Bully Boy, I will have to refer you to Uncle Jack for advice on how the charm the ladies. You must work hard at improving your charm offensive (and I do mean offensive!).

By the way, the photo in question was also free!

[Bob Bull]

Hell hat no fury like a woman scorned.

Mary,
I keep forgetting what a sensitive soul you are, and how readily you take offence at the smallest thing! So my little jest has backfired and I am once again an object of obloquy, a blackguard, a cad.
Yet again I must face punishment for a heinious crime. A night in the stocks would be leniency indeed, a public flogging no more than a rogue deserves.Transportation! Excommunication! Neither would raise eyebrow, but no! Not for Mary, she has a heart of stone, she demands the ultimate sanction!

For pity's sake, have you no mercy, no forgiveness?

Charm lessons !! From Jack Bellinger! You go too far!

BB

Lionel Died, and his widow rang the Jewish Chronicle to put an item in the 'Memoriam' section.
The cost was a pound a word, so after a pause she asked 'Would you put, Lionel's Dead?'
'Yes Madam, came the reply, but there is a minimum charge of five pounds.'
'Ah!, she said, Then would you put, Lionel's Dead. Volvo for sale.'

[Mary Lindsay]

Sorry Bob, you really asked for it and now you must face the music. Nothing short of charm lessons from Jack will do I'm afraid. There is to be no review of your sentence nor reduction for good behaviour (although that is very unlikely in your case). [-X

By the way I will be glad when you have reached the end of your book of Bad Jokes for Bully Boys, didn't even raise the ghost of a smile I'm afraid.

[Bob Bull]

OK! No reduction in the sentence, I await the first 'post' from Jack that may hopefully provide a clue as to what pleases Mary.
As to the 'Book of Bad Jokes', well I won't take offence at the inference, however, I must warn you it is a VERY BIG book, and should you wish to stem the flow, (and please do not take umbrage at this suggestion) you could always lie, and claim you, perhaps chuckled, just a little at one of my efforts? You might also care to note that I started with the cream of the crop in my efforts to win favour with Essex Gal, I can make no promises they will get any better in the future.
With regard to 'lessons', I have detected in previous subjects that you require Jack to allow you to beat him on the track in order to make you smile, and this option is not open to me, so it might be a long time before I can hold my head up in Morgan circles again. Perhaps, in the manner of the Flying Dutchman*, I am condemned to spend eternity circulating the padddock in search of redemption and an interview with 'Bulldog'.

* Not Adrian Van Der Kroft, I hasten to add.

Why is a Japanese Tumbling Act like Autumn?

Because there is usually a little nip in the air!! (Prince Harry told me that one)

Bob The Outcast.

[Bob Bull]

Oh! Heck!
Suppose Jack isn't reading this thread!!!!!!!

[Mary Lindsay]

Oh dear Bob, you are just making things worse for yourself and digging an even deeper hole in which to languish.

Will this stem the tide of dreadful jokes?

[Bob Bull]

A full pardon?

OR; Did you hear about the Nun in the taxi?

The choice is yours.

[Mary Lindsay]

Do you resolve to be a good boy in future?

[Bob Bull]

I do resolve, but ..................

[Mary Lindsay]

A full pardon?

I will try, but............

[Bob Bull]

I suppose that is the best I can hope for, it's just that my past performance on 'New Year Resolutions' is hardly five star.

Still I know you are a very nice lady, a VERY NICE LADY.

Bob the Grateful.

NB; For all of those disappointed readers who would like to hear the 'Nun' joke send me a PM. It is suitable for all but the most tender flowers.

[Mary Lindsay]

It is suitable for all but the most tender flowers.

Then please keep it to yourself!
Signed: Tender Flower

[Bob Bull]

Mary,
It's time to move on. Why don't you launch us in to another subject, something non-controversial, but of great interest to OTHER members of the forum.
We do rather seem to have the place all to ourselves lately, have they all hibernated do you suppose? Or they all bored silly with our personal affairs?

Lots of love,

Bobby B

[Mary Lindsay]

Dear Bobby B, I think they are probably bored silly as you suggest.

Just to test if they really are out there but too shy or bored to join in I suggest that someone other than you or I launches into a new subject.