2009 Panto - Jack and the Bobstalk

[Mary Lindsay]

Never having been invited to hit anyone before she obliged and another ear grew on the other side of Jack's head.
"Ta missus," said Jack politely (for his Mummy had told him always to be nice to ugly old women who hit him about the head).

[Mary Lindsay]

Jack then realised that he could hear the golden harp's magical tones once again...

OK you lot that's my contribution for now, it's someone else's turn to take up the story.

[philip goddard]

Now he could 'ear with his new ears, he realised he could rescue the castrato 'elf and safety Bob the cat. 'Don't worry mate' said Jack, 'Silly Bell-ringer gave me such a pasting after my unprintable psting that she cut me nuts orf. I'll get that Pilip vet chap to get stitching and you cat sort out Cinderella after all.

Welol you should have heard the rumpus, first from the stitching and then from the sorting out. Cinderella returned with a veritable grin on her face. 'Next' she cried, looking at Peter the Bigendry......

[jack bellinger]

Obviously this was a cash job .. Pilip does,nt seem to know his left from his right coupled with the fact he must have got his speciminis from the cat .Poor jack did,nt know if he was coming or going ... Silly didnt notice a thing... why would she remember after 74days 8hours 13mins ..(Hooray it must be Christmas thought jack)
So getting his hands on the Golden Harp was now a must ( so he could afford to to put things right ..or left I,m confused)
Up the !^&£""** Beanstalk again....

[Bob Bull]

Cinderella returned with a veritable grin on her face.

While Bob looked like the Cat that got the
Cream, him being envious of Jack's more frequent pleasures.

"Tell me jack, when you last indulge?"

"1949"

"Gracious, that's a long time ago."

"I don't know, it's only 20.00 hours now."

Back to more salubrious areas of the Panto.

Jack, with the sound of Sally's shouts still ringing in his new ears, decided that he must make one more determined effort to lay his mitts on the Golden Harp, despite the disastrous consequences of his last encounter with the instrument.
He made his way once more to the foot of the mighty beanstalk, and gazed upwards at the swirling clouds obscuring the heights of the gigantic plant. Suddenly he heard (thanks to his new, improved audio ability) a thunderous chorus high above the clouds;

"Fees, Fies, Foes,and Fums, I give a Panto but no one comes.
Just a few old faithful friends, whose contributions thus transcends,
The dearth of imput from those mutts, who wouldn't shift their idle butts,
Why, Oh, why is interest lacking, that gives the show no vital backing?
Without the help of all our members, we surely fear for next December's,
Pantomime what 'ere it be, Cinderella and sisters three?
So many have no whit to add, It makes this Giant very sad.
Perhaps the reason that we lack, more help, maybe because it features Jack?
And though it makes me cry and sob, the title does include that BOB.
But then again, and it's a notion, this a great Tim Hill Promotion,
The producer lives in sun aglow, while we all suffer frost and snow.
Therefore writers are not so zealous, surely they can not all be jealous.
But to all those who are not listless, I want to wish a MERRY CHRISTMAS."

[Mary Lindsay]

Well said Bob!
I think we can regard this year's panto, despite the heroic efforts of the faithful few, a sad business.
Happy Christmas to you all and good motoring in 2010.

[Leigh Sebba]

Seasons greetings to all – now who is going to do the posting on 25 Dec ?

I suppose nowadays blackberry geeks can just do it ‘under the table’ during their Christmas dinner.

[Bob Bull]

now who is going to do the posting on 25 Dec ?

Based on what has happened over the last few weeks it will be Mary, Jack or your's truly.

Mary,
Thanks for making me smile so much recently, and let me say that I was MOST IMPRESSED with your picking up on the Goon Show connection. That did suprise me.
Enjoy the turkey.

Love,

Bob.

[jack bellinger]

Im not giving in yet ... no harp and 1 lap left...
As he climed the beanstalk the ogre was asleep so he tiptoed up him pulled down his trousers so he could not run after him ..
Noticed the Pilip Goodanard Had been there before.Same operation !! thats why the ogre hates humans ...

Jack nicked the harp. legged down the stalk.. went straight round to Honest John Motors and swapped it for a MOSS BOX V8
better than gold he thought ,,
and raced happy ever after.

MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR to all
( especially if you are luky enough to have one)

jack

[Bob Bull]

Mary Lindsay wrote:
now who is going to do the posting on 25 Dec ?

Oh! No she didn't

Well done Jack, a satisfactory conclusion to your adventures in beanstalk country.

A very Happy Christmas to you and Sally, may all your dreams come true. You never know she might!

[Mary Lindsay]

now who is going to do the posting on 25 Dec ?

I don't like to be pedantic, especially now it is officially Christmas Day, but it was actually Leigh who asked this question.....

Thanks for making me smile so much recently, and let me say that I was MOST IMPRESSED with your picking up on the Goon Show connection. That did suprise me.
Enjoy the turkey.

I am glad I made you smile Bob (not sure quite what I did to achieve this).

I have always been a Goon Show fan, it is much like the Morgan |Race Series in so many ways...

I am looking forward to the turkey, thank you.

Happy Christmas to you all, especially Jack, Sally, Bob and Leigh

[Mary Lindsay]

By the way, here is the picture to which Leigh referred.....

[Bob Bull]

I don't like to be pedantic, especially now it is officially Christmas Day, but it was actually Leigh who asked this question.....

Hence the; Oh1 No she didn't

I should have known you would beat me to it Mary, but it is only fitting, my Mum always told me 'ladies first', (In Jack's case second, third, fourth etc. as well)

" They're not logs, they're crocodiles!"

"OOH! I wondered why my legs kept getting shorter,"

Can you indentify this quote?

Very Happy Christmas.

[Bob Bull]

By the way, here is the picture to which Leigh referred.....

Gosh! Those legs are even nicer than mine (used to be).

[philip goddard]

'Happy Chrismas all' said Pilip as he sat down to his Christmas lunch of Ogre testicles.