2012 Christmas Pantomime

[Mary Lindsay]

Once upon a time......

[Bob Bull]

Only once, Mary?

That's not what Jack told me ..............................

Once upon a time......a man set out from London accompanied only by a cat intending to walk to Malvern, when he heard the sound of bicyle bells tinkling in the distance. "Well blow me down." he thought to himself, "Why am I walking when I could be riding a bike, I know a bloke who reckons it is a very healthy way to travel, perhaps I should get one."

Just what the cat thought of the idea can only be imagined.

Then a strange voice spoke .............................

TBC..

[Bob Bull]

A boik moi darlin? Noi youse need somtin moor, faser than at Oi'll be tellin yers. (well I said it was a strange voice) git yur selve a Moigarn mo'or caar, they's murch quic'a an oi boik. Hoik yur's dow en to Mallvern, in git yur oider in dubble fas loik afore theys soiled art. Niver moind tha old cat yee's gort, e's can wark.

Now would our hero take this advice or should he stick with the tried and tested velocipede mode of transport? Only time and BHP will tell, but one thing is certain. This will not be the last we hear of Dickon Whittinless, and his furry friend.



Or will it?

[Mary Lindsay]

Dickon was arrested by the local constabulary for being incapable of coherent speech and his cat was taken into care by the local branch of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to the English Language.

Luckily for them both.....

[Andy Green]

And a wise man said "anybody requiring me to sign their copy of the 2013 calender" should bring to the 1st race meeting of 2013 and form an orderly q

Now back to the 3 bears Yoko,Kuhmo and Dunlop who were discovered in the woods by a singing sharlie

[Bob Bull]

And a wise man said "anybody requiring me to sign their copy of the 2013 calender" should bring to the 1st race meeting of 2013 and form an orderly q

Now back to the 3 bears Yoko,Kuhmo and Dunlop who were discovered in the woods by a singing sharlie

With the launch of the 2013 calendar, a veritable slew of Morgan racers turned GREEN with envy, and beat their breast's, well every one except the runner-up in the Championship of course.

With our central character jailed by the evil Spirit of Essex, our show comes to an untimely end!

Unless..............................

[Mary Lindsay]

and beat their breast's

Unfortunately Bobby Sox Bull was also arrested by the Apostrophe Police for cruelty to and over use of the elusive apostrophe.

Luckily Jolly Jack Tar and Merry Maid Mary were prepared to bail him out despite his frequent slurs on their good characters.

[Bob Bull]

Thanks to the Merry Pedant, the story can continue, although we still have to free our hero from the clutches of the wicked Sherriff of Notinmybackyard, so ......................

Dickon's (correct use of the dreaded apostrophe?) cat pining for his master concocted a cunning plan to free his master from the town gaol by posing as a visitor. Wearing a mask and wig he claimed to be Dick's (?) Granny Mary from Itsworth and so gained entry to Dick's cell, where our hero switfly donned the disguise and thus escaped to pursue his quest for fame and fortune in the BHP Panto.

Turn again Whitless rang the Bells of Bow as Jack the the Lunchback tugged on his rope (they can't touch you for it!), and so heartened by the melodic timbre, Dick once agin set his face Westward and on to .............................................?

[jack bellinger]

And Goddardilocks couldnt decide which one try ????
Would it be the Dig daddy Dunlops
the Med Mummy,s yokos
or the the new babes on the block hard little kumo,s

Which one would soak up the most in a Wet Blanket ??

??????

Sorry But Wick Dittington and his Mog doesnt Know if he,s coming or going yet
come to think of it .. nor does Goddardilocks !!!

jack

[Robin Singleton]

Jack

Or which ones would cope with today's snowfall (the beast from the east) that we have in Aldeburgh today.

Maybe better with the reindeer and sleigh!

Merry Christmas.

Robin

[Bob Bull]

Poor Dickon, wondering which way to go, should he go West? No way! Temperatures down to -4c in Bevansville! East? Hardly, with blizzards raging in Aldburg. No, best to continue North passing through the Mudlands keeping a careful eye open for runaway balloons, mad dogs,tedious lecturers, and avoiding barns lest he stumble across villainous Simpletons rooting around for derelict carriages.
The notion of turning South could never be considered as nothing but shady traders lurked within the environs of Lundun.

North! What delights awaited our intrepid Dickon in places like Shefelt, Bumingham and Manvester .............................. only time will tell.

[Mary Lindsay]

"MIND THE WATFORD GAP!" Boomed a voice from the skies as the intrepid (and I use the term loosely) traveller struggled his way along the hostile highway that was known as the Emwun.
He had heard from a wise man (and you don't get many of them to the pound) that bad things happened and that the tribes oop North had strange customs and even stranger languages.

[Bob Bull]

"MIND THE WATFORD GAP!" Boomed a voice from the skies as the intrepid (and I use the term loosely) traveller struggled his way along the hostile highway that was known as the Emwun.
He had heard from a wise man (and you don't get many of them to the pound) that bad things happened and that the tribes oop North had strange customs and even stranger languages.

Cue much laughter or should that be raughter?

[john bevan]

and so the Intrepid Lord Bob Bullox of Double Entendre set off pursued by switflies. He had heard that the remedy for a tiny URL was hot toddy. Around York his big end went. Arriving oop North he was greeted by Lord Dafter. Lord Dafter pointed out that one was not supposed to put ones tiny URL in the hot toddy but.............

[Bob Bull]

Despite sneers at the size my URL, I will continue to drive the story forward, to a thrilling climax at some future date, but ......................

Dickon Wickless did not underestimate the difficulties facing him as he pursued his path to fame and fortune Oop North, he knew that there were many natural obstacles to be overcome befoore he reached the sunny uplands of Manchester ( ). Amongst the hazards in his path would be wind, ridge, hill, mountain and rivers, all well known pains in the glutus maximus. The first river he had to cross was the Tony a recently dredged water way, luckily there was a bridge, a bailey bridge. This was a stout structure broad of beam with short supports underneath, and seemed well organised by the toll keeper Michelle.
Having little money Dickon asked the lady; "Would you accept an olive 'r branch madam?" Being a family show we can not print the reply he received.

Additional barriers to his onward path turned out to be some massive thorn e dged hedges tended by several young men who, rather precocious, will plant privets, one indeed being a reet champion plant, rich and hardy with a tomcat lurking underneath.
Seeking shelter for the night our hero spied a cheerful chap tending a fire, "is it a blaze?" he asked him. "No just an ember son." came the reply. "Is there a hostelry adjacent to out present location? Kind sir." he queried. " No pub but, see bar over there, they rent rooms, try them."

A passing peeler, a sergeant named Peter, stopped to check Dick's credentials, when a wurr ing noise interupted proceedings. "Is that Old King Cole?" Shouted the fuzz. "No it's just Harry, son, the bain 'e's of the local ladies." Dickon decided to shear off and take the airs elsewhere.

Then with darkness all around a McDonald meal seemed better than a glass of sherry or having to sleep on the rafter s of a dubious taylor's shop, so there we must leave young Wickless until tomorrow.