Christmas panto

[jack bellinger]

Princess ...You need to flirt a bit with our Star to get him interested

I'm beginning to think that he may not be the only one who doesn't fancy you !!!!!

Try showing a bit of flesh (not your bald head) it may help

ps
that,ll give the Snow Queen more input

[Bob Bull]

[-X )Latest News; Chris Bailey has been appointed to the role of Washy to assist Wishy and Widow Twanky at the Chinese Launderette in Chelsea. Dominic House has been frog marched into the part of the Evil Vizier, and so the story can now procede;

Aleighdin, now wearing a Barnet football shirt and a baggy pair of Ipswitch United shorts prepared to enter the Bulldog Cave in search of the magic lamp, while the Evil Vizier lurked outside in his Plus 4's shouting instructions to the bewildered youth ( ) "to shift 'is 'arris", and snaffle the lamp asap. Stepping cautiously into the stygian darkness, and pausing only to gently stroke the Bulldog with a wheel hammer the intrepid Aleighin made his way to the Sultan's harem. With the Evil Vizier's instructions not to linger, he emerged three days later carrying the Sultan's lamp in one sweaty hand. Rushing into the daylight he proudly waved his trophy shouting, "I have the lamp, where can I plug it in?"
At this the Evil Vizier became a little agitated, so much so that he almost boiled over, his cooling system having been damaged at Brands Hatch after colliding with an errant Antonio Lisi, (but that is another matter). "You addled pated buffoon" he cried, "I don't want his bedside lamp, get back in there and find the magic lamp it is brass and needs some rubbing up, you can't miss it. Hurry it is almost the season to be merry, and I have three wishes I want to make."

So once more unto the breeks went our hero, his flamboyant shorts akimbo. Too exhausted to linger in the harem he delved (good word Eh?) further into the far reaches of the Cave, where he suddenly found himself in a vast room filled to the roof with gold and silver treasures. Cups, salvers, flagons gleaming in the dim light of his mobile phone, riches beyond the dreams of even Mr Pastry (played by a well known Morgan Driver from Class A). "Why this is no treasure trove," he thought, "This is Keith Ahlers trophy room."

BUT THEN!!!!! A shaft of light from his beady eye glimpsed a battered old brass lamp lying abandoned in a corner. Snatching it up he read the inscription engraved on the side. "Tucker Trophy Winner 1894". Yes indeed he had found the long lost Magic Lamp so revered by lovers of old wooden cars. Hurrying back through the labyrinth he emerged once more into the light proudly waving the brass lamp. "This means peace in our time." he proclaimed. "Give it 'ere," snarled the Vizier, "I 'ave three wishes to make."

"Why can't I make a wish?" Quoth young ( [-X ) Aleighdin. "Hold your peace," the Vizier replied. "Not too easy in these shorts." cried our hero.

Quickly giving the dingy trophy a rub over with a damp cloth the Evil Vizier made his first wish;

"Bring me enormous wealth like Peter Rafter," And instantly a massive chest of gold coins appeared at his feet.

"Bring me the beautiful Princess as my bride," At once she stood before him, shy and retiring, her beauty out shining even that of the Snow Fairy. (

Then before he could make his third request, Aleighdin once again asked. "Can I have ago mister?"

Distracted by his constant whining the Vizier growled. " I wish I had never asked you to go in the first place."

In a flash he stood outside the Bulldog Cave, no wealth, no bride, just a shifty urchin in a pair of flapping shorts.

The moral of the story is; be careful what you wish for.

[jack bellinger]

Meanwhile ...
there was a robbery.at the Laundry
A towel was held up by 2 clothes pegs.

[Bob Bull]

Meanwhile ...
there was a robbery.at the Laundry
A towel was held up by 2 clothes pegs.

Unfortunately the local scuffers were busy with another crime;
A tortoise was mugged by two snails; "Can you describe the assailants?" asked the Inspector. "No, it all happened so fast." Said the tortoise.

[Bob Bull]

The Widow Twanky after a hard day on the washboard (Wishy on guitar and Washy on Tea Chest Bass) fancied a couple of Vera Lynns so hoisting up her rebel rousers and lacing up her daisy roots, she took a ball of chalk down the frog and toad to the rub a dub. She was a bit mickey blissed to see a bubble and squeak sitting at the Aunt Joanna and his skin and blister having a kick and prance with a septic tank, wearing of all things a jazzy pair of Lionel Blairs.
In a corner a four b' two was flogging hooky tom foolery to Aleighdin's cows and kisses. What a tea leaf she thought he makes me Pat and Mick, he's going to cause some Barney Rubble if the Sweeney Todd should take butchers hook through the Tommy Trinder.
I would like to give him a builders brick in the orchestra stalls ad knock him on his Khyber Pass, soon spoil his whistle and flute, teach him to flog his pony and trap in the battlecruiser.
So having had her Darby and Joan she got completely elephant's trunk, got on the dog and bone and spent her bees and honey on a sherbert dab home to her pine trees laundry, where she had to wash her alan whickers.

And so ends another chapter in the Annual Aero Pantomime Challenge.

[Mary Lindsay]

The Snow Fairy, having tried Google translate, could not make any sense of the story she thought she was in.

She felt that she had somehow walked into a Bull and Bellinger double act, rather like Morecambe and Wise but without the funny jokes.

In order to restore some pantomimery into the proceedings she yelled out:
"Aleighdin, where are you???"

A chorus of voices responded: "BEHIND YOU"
and she slowly turned round only to see…...

[Bob Bull]

A chorus of voices responded: "BEHIND YOU"
and she slowly turned round only to see…...

Class 'E' all dressed in Eastern costume shouting 'BEHIND YOU!

Well Class 'E' usually was so what was all of the noise about?

Good Evans mark my word these Class divisions need sorting before we get to Snettabul next season. Why some blighter from Class C won the big prize this year, and that can't be right, he's not even in the cast list! What sort of people are being allowed into the cosy world of Morgan competition lately. Where is the Roly Poly Sultan when action is required? On the duck and dive no doubt, won't show his boat race on the forum, probably sitting in front of the custard and jelly watching Brown Bun Shabby, and nursing his Chalfont St.Giles.

This pantomime is running strictly to form, far too many people in the cheap seats and not enough shifting scenery on stage. [-X

[jack bellinger]

The alarm didn't wake us up this morning at the Laundry

when that happens sometimes I wake up Right Humpy

other times I let her sleep in !!

B,,Boom

[Bob Bull]

Sadly the Annual BHP Pantomime has failed to capture the imagination of the audience leading to disappointing attendances and a lack of critical acclaim from MOG or Miscellany art critics. Clearly modern audiences can not relate to Viziers. Sultans, Magic Carpets, and Genies popping out of brass lamps, therefore, in order to boost flagging numbers a complete re-write is required to up-date the story for the 2000's.

LBB Promotions proudly announce the NEW Aladdin, a story set amongst the planets of the Universe, and Galaxies far, far away.

Aleighdin is now re-cast a Sebbacca, a tall hairy creature able to communicate only in unintelligible grunts. The Evil Vizier becomes Daft Blighter and his 'cave' the death star! Princess Jasmine returns in the guise of Princess Lilo, while the Sultan becomes Yoga, a strange toad like fellow given to inscrutable wisdom. No longer do we have a Magic Carpet but a spaceship The Millbank Fulcrum. The lamp is replaced by a Tablet, and the Genie by a Robot called Aero D2.

The Widow Twanky has also been upgraded to a Divorced Twashy machine, while Wishy becomes Rumble Drier, and Washy is renamed Aye, aye Ron.

Stay tuned for the first instalment of 'Mars Wars. The Return of the Surplus Four!'

[Leigh Sebba]

Grunt grunt

[jack bellinger]

A man of many words.........

[Bob Bull]

Luke Warmwater stepped out of his Mogpod, and leaping aboard his Trimog launched into space bound for Malvernia a planet in the far reaches of the galaxy, and the centre of the Moglanite Empire. As soon as he alighted form his trusty steed he met a fellow Jeri Knight who had just glided in. "Are you here for the Spaceman's Dinner? Enquired said Knight. "Indeed replied", Luke, "I am to receive the Tuckerin Trophy for outstanding results in the interplanetary Oriole Challenge."

Suddenly the shattering noise of the Millbank Fulcrum arriving startled the pair. "Good Golly! It's that rascal Hans de Vice and his Sebbacca, now we can expect trouble." Quoth Luke. "I understand that Daft Blighter is due here as well, and he is a nasty bit of work. Why he stole the Gilbert Trophy by submitting the best Paddock Snap, I blame the father."

"Well that is as maybe." said the Jeri Knight, "But I must be off and find the Widow Twan ..... OOPS! I mean the Divorced Washymachine I have some smalls that need sprucing up before I can appear in public in them."

Luke then revealed his true purpose for being there. "I intend to seek the Fabulous I-Tablet of legend, and use it to dazzle the beautiful Princess Lilo, who has recently been voted 'Miss MIscellany 4015, and this means creeping into Daft Blighters Death Star (Some times known as the Tichniques workshop).

Cut. Cried the director let's break for tea.

[jack bellinger]

when Washymachine saw the state of the smalls. She made a request to Luke Warmwaterwash

Luke Warmwaterwash then ordered all the cast to change their underwear

Princess Lilo must change with Sebecca ...Jeri the Knight must change with Yoga......etc.etc.

(they just keep coming)

[Mary Lindsay]

"What's going on here?" cried the Snow Fairy, "I turn my back for 5 minutes and you've all gone Star Crazy. I blame that chap on the Space Station (or is it an X-Box?)"

"Now will you all put your underwear back on, you are frightening the the robots."

[jack bellinger]

wishy and washey just went and bought some Coconut washing powder for the laundry today

don't know why ... We don't have any coconuts