A Silly Section

[Bob Bull]

Despite my Trojan efforts to raise the literary standards of this forum, we continue to see a great many posts that can only be described as 'silly'.
At my great age and with so much experience of the world and it's ways I thought I had seen and heard every kind of weirdo there was, but THEN I stumbled across brakehorsepower.com!!!

The replies posted on a simple subject such as my report on the AMOC Meeting, have convinced me that driving a Morgan can have a very deletorious effect on the reason of people who were previously, probably, quite normal.

Consider just a few of the responses we have seen.

A man whose tastes fluctuate apparently between nubile females and rabbits, possibly even wet and windy rabbits.
A chap who claims to pronounce a Leigh as coff! While the ramblings of Mr Tidsall surpass all understanding.

The cultured, even urbane, contributions from Mr Acklam can not fully compensate for the gibberish so prevalent amongst the less gifted, so I propose that a completely new category be launched with a great fanfare and entitled 'The Silly Section'.

Comments from the more sane would be welcome.


Robert Francis Bull.

[Mary Lindsay]

Is this an idea from the Ministry of Silly Walks?
John Cleese would be proud I'm sure.

[Chris Acklam]

I propose that a completely new category be launched with a great fanfare and entitled 'The Silly Section'.

You appear to be over-qualified for this, Bob.

[Andrew Potter]

Who mentioned rabbits? I thought the aforesaid Forest of Dean was famous for its sheep.
Your mention of John Cleese has prompted me to inflict more bull on you all. Heather and I used to work at John Cleese's alma mater Clifton College here in Bristol. In days gone by, before all this elf 'an safety stuff, at the end of their time at Clifton the lads used to go a bit on the wild side. After exams had finished we would see headmaster's wife's knickers on the main flagpole, a hastily rebuilt Mini would appear on top of the tower, the man in charge (or not!) of discipline called 'The Marshall' would wake up to find his house covered in cling film, and more recently the headmaster's house for sale on E-Bay. There are many tales to tell!John Cleese was far cleverer:
on hallowed ground is a bronze statue of General Haigh. In the middle of his last night Cleese took a pot of yellow paint, and placing each of his own feet on a tray of the yellow stuff made footprints from the dear General all the way to the gents' urinal opposite the chapel and back again, a distance of 200 yards.

Andrewp

[Bob Bull]

Pray tell Mary, what prompted you to visit the 'Silly Section'?
Are you one of 'more sane'?

Andrewp; I would think that you have definitely set yourself up for the position of immoderator for the new category!

Mr Acklam; It takes one to know one!!

Some may have wondered why, on an early post, I had signed myself Bob(SOF). Well it stands for Silly Old Fool, a sort of club founded back in the '50's, which gained it's inspiration from (of all events) the Bentley Drivers Club Meeting at Silverstone. Further explanation could only cause offence - so I'll say no more.

I do feel that this new section is off to a fine start already.

[Phil Egginton]

Wibble.......

[Andrew Potter]

Ah..... those rabbits, Leigh. A well known cousin of mine- genuine- used to write the sort of stories that began;-
'Once upon a time there were four little rabbits. Their names were Flopsy, Mopsy, Cottontail and Peter ...........'
She was a great lady.
I have to go and put my car together now!

Andrewp

[Mary Lindsay]

Pray tell Mary, what prompted you to visit the 'Silly Section'?

I have been reading the increasing volume of journalistic (and other) input and, having tried unsuccessfully to launch an agony column on this forum a while ago I thought this section seemed worth supporting.

Are you one of 'more sane'?

That is open to debate and I am probably not qualified to comment, I am sure that others will help you out there.
You didn't notice me at MG Silverstone because my 2008 debut lasted only 11.8 seconds as I ground to a halt at Becketts.........

[Chris Acklam]

... signed myself Bob(SOF). Well it stands for Silly Old Fool, a sort of club founded back in the '50's, which gained it's inspiration from (of all events) the Bentley Drivers Club Meeting at Silverstone. Further explanation could only cause offence - so I'll say no more.

As a SOF for over 50 years Bob, this must give you huge experience and an unrivalled depth of knowledge of just what it takes to belong to such an august club for so long. We stand in awe as mere acolytes to a master.

[peter rafter]

you mean there is a serious section?

[jack bellinger]

My Delivery driver has just come in and said to me " can you come and look at my van its got something wrong with it ".
I walked out the door to find that the vans got a flat tyre!! I said " you got a puncture" The Driver replied "no I havent its only flat at the bottom"!!! NOW THATS SILLY !! and true
(sorry Mary but the Driver is a Girlie)

love jack

[Mary Lindsay]

I think you're making it up -that's one of the oldest jokes going.

[Bob Bull]

This section is coming along very nicely, clearly demonstrating the need for a permanent home for the gormless witterings of people like myself. CA take note.

Mary; Many thanks for your support it is much appreciated and I would like to reciprocate by backing your bid for the position of Agony Aunt. Only the merest trawl through the postings will emphasise the desperate need for such a service, and I am sure that you have all the skills to fill the role.

Dear Aunt Lindy,
I truly love my Morgana, but recently a rift has appeared in our affair, a split in her petrol tank threatens our relationship. I have tried to patch it up with Araldite and angle iron. Have I done the right thing.
Droopy of Bristol

Reply;
Droopy, if you really care for her you will go the whole hog and buy her a new tank, it is never a good idea to try and patch things up on the cheap. She will only let you down at some stage and a small spark could cause a flaming row and a burnt out love affair.

Aunt Lindy.

Dear Aunt Lindy,
My beloved wants a new ring, well several of them actually, I have asked my friends about what sort to buy her, but their advice is conflicting. How can I resolve my dilemma.

Phil from Egington.

Reply;
Phil from Egington; You must decide what sort of relationship you want with the lady before purchasing expensive fripperies for her. Should she be the domestic type she might prefer something not too exotic that she can wear everyday and feel comfortable with, however, if she is the flirty sort who likes a good time, and you want to get a good time out of her, then something more expensive will be required. Listen to your pals and learn from their experiences. Remember should you make the wrong choice and push her into a corner she may slip away from you and leave you in a spin.
Take her somewhere abroad where the sun shines everyday and she can let her top down and then decide what is best for her.
Hasta la vista, Baby.

Aunt Lindy.

[jack bellinger]

Mary honest its true .. And she is as silly as a box of matches...
but we did have a man come into our shop and asked "Do you sell Radiators" I said "whats it for " He looked at me and said " My kitchen "(we are a Motor Spares shop ) and thats true as well


love jack

[Andrew Potter]

Could have done with an agony aunt this time last year- her suspenders fell off half way through the Silverstone International! Would I need advice on that? Nah- practice makes perfect! Mmmmmmmmm

Jack- could you let the lady with the flat ahem hire your car for a few races to put me up a place or two on the grid. I see advantages in her dilemma.
Andrewp