What is this .... a Dodgy Necklace?

[Bob Bull]

Dearest Jack,
Try this:
Two dozen rubber bushes, Ford Anglia.
Fifty tins Rad Seal
Axle Stands, Blue 3 pairs.
Wheel bearings. Oldsmobile rear offside. seven pairs
One carton, wiper blades, various makes.
Stone chip repair kit. Lada Plum Blush.
Oil pressure relief valve, adjuster, locknut; Citroen (1935 model)
Morgan steering wheel covers, fluffy, various shades.
500 sachets Bell's Wash 'n Wax Wonder polish.
Three Radiators, kitchen type.
Driving gloves, string back, yellow leather. Unisex.
etc. etc. etc...... Awake now, are we?

Please check the invoice and confirm delivery.
Payment monthly terms, cash acceptable.

RB

[Bob Bull]

Tim, (Or is it confused of Essex?)

You must get a grip and concentrate, my meanings are perfectly clear, try and sober up and then re-read all of my contributions. Once your befuddled wits have recovered from the binge drinking, all will be revealed, and you may dispose of the razor, unless you need it for personal hygiene reasons, of course.

I can recommend a course of Doctor Soloman's 'Bile and Liver Recovery Pills', they are a universal cure for just about everything - look what they have done for me - it's miraculous.

Failing this advice try logging-on to Confused.Com you can then choose from six alternative therapies, with all of the features important to you.

Well it is well past my bedtime so good night, Sweet Prince.

Bob.

PS; If anyone has a brick wall they are not using, I could use it to bang my head against. This would surely be less painful than constantly responding to the drivel on this site.

[jack bellinger]

awake now ...Bob i need a chassis number!!

jack

[Bob Bull]

Jack,
I don't have her number, but what about that lady from Essex?

Bob.

[Mary Lindsay]

I'm busy this century - sorry.

[jack bellinger]

playing hard to get are we (or hard to catch)

love jack

[Mary Lindsay]

It's not the catching Jack, it's trying to get past....................

[Bob Bull]

Jack,
Have you noticed how some women always assume you are talking about them,as if no other female existed?
It is vanity do you suppose ?

I was, of course, referring to Gladys Entwhistle, from Billericay.

You can't win them all.

Bob

[jack bellinger]

So you know my sister !!! what are you trying to say ??


love jack

[Bob Bull]

Bellinger - ring's bells. What did Miss EntWHISLTE do when the invaders came?

[jack bellinger]

being a good Essex girl ENTertained by whistleing


jack

[Mary Lindsay]

What did Miss EntWHISLTE do when the invaders came

Which invaders?

[Bob Bull]

Mary,

There was a young lady named Ada, who got took by a VIKING invader.
When returned to her mother, she'd had some of the other.
Said her mother 'He's made her, that invaders laid her.'
But Ada just smiled 'cos he'd paid her.

Clearly Athelstan Ye Bellringer failed to give adequate warning! What changes?

Robert the Scribe.

[Mary Lindsay]

Dear Robert the Scribe,
Your postings are becoming unseemly and coarse. [-X
I shall now refrain from any further participation in this thread until you have mended your ways.
Shocked of Inworth.

[Bob Bull]

Shocked of Imworth;

Comments noted, rebuke acknowledged, apology proffered, ways mended. Do come back, we would miss you.

Bob the Penitent.