Welcome Catherine

[Bob Bull]

I am pleased to see that we now have a new member, Catherine Emberson. Welcome Catherine to the Mad House!

I am sure that Catherine needs no introduction, but how many people realise that she has recently been promoted from Gopher to TEAM MANAGER of Equipe Emberson and now gets to carry home the champagne?

This is just the sort of information that an Editor will sniff out during his ramblings around the paddock in order to keep his public fully informed on matters of great moment.

I predict a great future for the lady. Move over Ron Dennis.

Bob ex-Reporter.

[Mary Lindsay]

I am sure that Catherine needs no introduction, but how many people realise that she has recently been promoted from Gopher to TEAM MANAGER of Equipe Emberson and now gets to carry home the champagne?

Other breaking news is that Catherine is now a member of our Publicity Group so it may be move over Bob Bull.................

[Bob Bull]

Mary,
Surely you know the difference between a Publicist and a 'Big Mouth'?

Bob

[Mary Lindsay]

Surely you know the difference between a Publicist and a 'Big Mouth'?

Of course I do, I was just being polite.

[Bob Bull]

Mary,
I refuse to let this subject stray into murky waters, so let me say that I am sure Catherine will be a very welcome addition to the 'Publicity Group, and no doubt will be contacting all of the local radio station editors to help further the cause of Morgan motoring, or have I got it wrong and it is some sort of feminist organisation that you are promoting?

May I say I do like the 'new improved, polite version' of Imworth Girl.

Affectionately yours,

Bobby.

[Mary Lindsay]

May I say I do like the 'new improved, polite version' of Imworth Girl.

Dear Bobby, I am so pleased that we are on good terms. However, in spite of the risk of damaging our new and more civilised communications, I have to tell you that it is Inworth and not Imworth.
With many felicitations,
Mary (quite contrary)

[Bob Bull]

Nev er wos gud a jografe.

3C Dunce

[John Emberson]

Bob,

I bet the ever polite & courteous Mary not only understands "jografe" but wouldn't have managed to lose my last interview with you from the recorder either............

This submission authorised by Catherine "Ron Dennis" Emberson!

[Bob Bull]

John,
Good to see that you have not yet hibernated for the winter, and your ego has not been too badly dented by failue to star on BBC THREE COUNTIES RADIO - again!
I would gently remind you that you have for a number of years blamed every spin, shunt, excursion and failure to win on that well know Radio Reporter (as he was then known) from 3CR, but now when he makes a very, very, rare mistake, you are quick to point the finger!
I appreciate that this is not a personal matter, but undoubtedly forced on you by 'Big Ron'.

You are not the first to highlight my incompetence on this forum and almost certainly not the last, but my shoulders are broad and I will rise above it all and look forward to further opportunities to progress your career in 2009.

Bob the Editor.

PS: Does your new Team Manager have keyboard skills?

[Catherine Emberson]

Dear Bob,

I do have limited keyboard skills but have been confused as to how I should be putting myself forward. Since joining the forum I seem to have acquired a number of additional personae. I had previously accepted my demotion from supporting wife to under mechanic with resignation but then John offered me promotion to Team Manager which I thought was progress and despite the lack of additional remuneration, I was legitimately allowed (very occasionally) to allow full rein to my bossy nature.

In the last week however I seem to have acheived the dizzy hieghts of Formula 1 status (again no pay rise but am hopeful with Christmas on the way) so am still not complaining. But what is with the Widow Twankey and the dance of the seven veils? I am to acting and dancing as John Sergeant is to Strictly Come Dancing. John (mine not Sergeant) may not have followed his father's footsteps in being a county dance champion but I am much, much worse! As to big Ron, I assume you refer to Ron Atkinson. Despite having 5 brothers I was never particularly into football (perhaps because Hereford was our local side and it was hard apart from one particular giant killing year to drum up enthusiasm there) so I'm not sure that that reference works either.

I would however welcome your advice. In reading through some of the threads in the forum there appears to be a form of code used which is almost incomprehensible. You are relatively new to the forum too but seem to have picked this up very quickly. Is there a specialised dictionary I should refer to or should I have paid more attention to my teachers at school?

Catherine

[Bob Bull]

Welcome Indeed Catherine,

I am so pleased to note that your maiden post is addressed to me personally, and I am fully cognizant of the signal honour you do me.

Firstly let me clear up any confusion as to your being dubbed 'Big Ron'. Please be assured that this is in no way is a reflection on your avoirdupois, it is an allusion to the CEO of the McLaren Formula 1 Team, Ron Dennis, who took Baden Powell's advice and went Scouting for Boys, discovering one, Lewis Hamilton, who he has nurtured from the age of ten or so, to become Formula 1 World Champion. To add the sobriquet 'Big' to his name is a personal affectation. I am sure that your tenure as Team Manager of Equipe Emberson will bring equal success.

With the revelation that your roots were in Hereford, I assume that this Atkinson chappie is, perhaps some stalwart SAS Trooper who courted you before the current incumbent of your affections won the prize?

Let us turn to the language used on this forum. Firstly we have the technical jargon so beloved of Morgan drivers, terms such as 'dashboard switches', 'Standard Camshafts' etc. This stuff you can safely ignore as such matters are not within the remit of 'Team Manager', complex technical discussion is best left to those who understand it - the children!

While I am not totally convinced that 'Loose Torque' is any place for a lady, should you venture into the section you will find that you will have no problem with my own elegant and stylish contributions, with their allegorical nuances and classical allusions.
On the other hand, once you have come to grips with Mary's Estuary English you will manage to grasp the gist of her remarks even while the detail may elude you, while most other members who grace us with their thoughts, may be ignored or treated with distain.

Finally, should any item posted by the ubiquitious 'Jack' be described as 'gibberish' this would be high praise indeed. One must make allowances for the fellow as his upbringing in a degraded Battersea known as Chelsea, is hardly conducive to cultured and urbane discourse.

Let me once again assure you that I would never post anything liable to cause you offence, certainly not since I saw you humping Morgan wheels about while your spouse sipped tea in the pits.

Good to see you here,

Bob.

[jack bellinger]

What a load of old Gibberish

Jack From South Chelsea

[Bob Bull]

See what I mean?

Proxy Cockney

[Catherine Emberson]

Bob,

John says that one of my strengths is that I seem, with one or two exceptions (including people who hog the outside or middle lanes of the motorway when I want to pass), to be able to get on with most people. John may have moved west but like Mary he too used to live in Essex. I used to live in South South Chelsea (Wandsworth/ Tooting) and we now live south of Luton. This must mean that in some bizarre way I provide a link between you, Mary and Jack! Should I be concerned?

Catherine

[Mary Lindsay]

This must mean that in some bizarre way I provide a link between you, Mary and Jack! Should I be concerned?

Frankly, I think the answer to this is yes Catherine. If I were you I would be doing some serious backtracking by now.
You seem to have inadvertently associated yourself with three of the more dubious characters on this forum and it may harm your hitherto impeccable reputation.