2008 PANTO SNOW WHITE

[Bob Bull]

Jack,
Was that Mug or Mog?
Depending on your reply I might enter the competiition.

BB

[peter rafter]

"Mirror Mirror on the Wall ...Who has the Prettiest Mog of All ( only red ones allowed ) -jack"

oh no they are'nt !!!!!!

its behind you !!!!!!



peter

[philip goddard]

Red is the prettiest colour so who said 'Oh no it isn't'?
cause I know 'Oh yes it is'

BTW One pretty red Moggy driver went to the cupboard to get her poor doggy a bone
But when she bent over, V8 Rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own.

Bit contrived but if we are going to get to 10 pages...

[jack bellinger]

I thought this was meant to be about Snow White?? or has the prince Changed his name to V8 Rover

jack

[Bob Bull]

I thought you might be interested in this item from the LUTON DAILY BUGLE;

Our Theatre Critic. Review of the BHP. Pantomine, Snow White

This must surely be one of the worst interpretations of the classic fairy tale ever attempted with poor production and a total lack of direction. Promoter Andy Green, has failed to put together a coherent cast, a story line or anything resembling a script, with characters coming and going entirely at random and completely losing the plot in every scene.
The dialogue is atrocious and quite frankly how much of it got past the censor is beyond comprehension. Set to run for what was billed as 10 pages of rumbustious fun, after just two it had descended into the worst kind of farce.
Some of the actors do their best, Jack the elf is occasionally tolerable and Smirky Dwarf tries hard but his timing is poor, Essex Girl puts in a few memorable appearances although lacks true comic genius, a quality shown only by the undoubted star of the show Widow Twankey. So brilliant is 'her' performance that it is impossible to work out whether 'she' is really a woman or a burly man in drag.
With out doubt this is the most diabolical, unstructured and shabbily produced pantomine I have ever had the misfortune to see!!
Can't wait for the rest of It!

I Slatem.

This from one of the most influential of publications, but no mention of the outstanding Proxy Cockney. Very strange!!

Bob

[jack bellinger]

Proxy BOB One things for sure >> If you give me an apple I WONT EAT IT

JACK

[Bob Bull]

Jack,
I am impressed - poison apple! You do know the story line! Congratulations! I suppose with you coming from Chelsea I should not be suprised.

.... but back to the panto;

Grumpy and Smirky were wondering where the other five Dwarfs had got to, surely they should have put in appearance by now? Where were they? Who were they?
What are they called? Jack the elf, Contrary Mary, Widow Twankey, The 'Gerry' Knight, Proxy Cockney had all done their best to get into the spirit, but still even Snow White herself had not turned up, as for Buttons. Where was he when you needed him? The Evil Prince Mandy was, of course, away running the Government, and in a Brown Study with his Darling Chancer. Hewitt it happened is in doubt, but we need someone to bail us out..........

[jack bellinger]

" You do Know the story"

Its how I met my first Wife ,,She played Snow white in the play .. I can remember just how beautiful and Virginal she looked with that long white wavey hair.. innoccent eyes .. she was so gentle .. still it wasnt till after left me for them little Short %%^& I realalised why Grumpy was always Smiley and Dopey was Happy ..
Thats enough of this short story..

rejected jack

[Bob Bull]

Hi, Jack, hello Jerry.

[Andrew Potter]

Does Bob know that Jack acquired a new pair of fishnet tights this week?
Andrewp

[jack bellinger]

Careful..Bashful might get jealous

jack

[Bob Bull]

Buttons appears on stage and addresses audience;

" Oh! Dear, you are a miserable bunch, especially you lot in the cheap seats, all we ask is alittle help here, a few words to keep us going.
It only takes a few minutes, just two or three lines will do, and I have seen enough of you taking some pretty funny lines around Silverstone to know you are all capable of it!
Get on your backsides, don your fireproof gloves and make a small,(but valuable) contribution to the Green Panto Season.

We have left Jack minus his beanstalk, as he calls it, bemoaning the loss of the first s' nose wipe, and all ready to Sally fourth (or was it second?) ......."

Exits stage left........

[philip goddard]

Oh dear, have I upset someone with a naughty posting? Don't know if it was about incontinent Jack the elf maybe wetting his pants, or Jack the elf having pre-marital sex on a Christmas posting, or the impecunious state of the poor doggy. Need to make amends so here we go:

Wet pants:
Jack is a great driver, especially in the wet,
Beat him you may, but not for a long time yet.

Pre-marital sex:
Jack as a mechanic is a real good getter,
Only to be beaten by his legitimate son who is better.

But this is a panto scene so try this one:

The dog and the bone:
Old mother Hubbard took the lamb shank given to her by the poor doggy,
Which she scoulded him for stealing from their poor moggy,
But V8 rover said from whom he had stolen he must declare,
it wasn't daddy or mummy, but little baby bear.

And you all thought they were eating porridge. Baby bear Bellinger was upset as he had lost his lamb shank. Bashful was jealous of V8's bone so consulted Bob the builder, who also had a panache for writing....

[jack bellinger]

I take it from Phil,s posting.
He,s never seen Snow White.
The Lamb shank still needs Roasting.
Also his Rhymes are not quite Right.

jack

[Bob Bull]

I'm trying quite hard to follow this plot, but finding it tricky with this Morgan lot,
Posting the nonsense, and even worse, putting down in doggerel verse.
I am not against poems most of the time, but much of their writing refuses to rhyme.
Believe me dear Phillip I took no offence, but dubious or not you make little sense.

Another Moggy pilot who likes a good craic, is that elfish bellringer, Old Uncle Jack.
Sadly he wields his spelling and grammar, they he would a heavy wheel hammer.
And so we find his meaning obscure, and I would suggest there is only one cure.
To avoid, in posh Chelsea, being known as a fool, enroll right away in the local night school.

Bob the Bard.